Page 11 of Rio
“These aren’t words I’d ever use now.”I breathe in deeply, like I need the extra oxygen to survive the retelling of that terrible time in our lives.“He was no longer the Papa we were used to.I was ten years old, so I didn’t understand why Mama banished us all upstairs, and he and Mama talked for hours.I didn't know then why Mama looked so sad, why her face was so blotchy, her eyes so red.She told me to keep Matteo and Enzo busy.She never shouted, neither did the old man, but that day, their voices were loud, and angry.I knew something was very wrong.He left, without so much as playing with us, without talking to us, without hugging us.He was a changed man that day."
She blows out a sigh."Your poor mom."
"My mom is the center of my world.She's the reason I still believe in integrity, and loyalty.I saw her pain that day, saw the way her hands shook, how she tried not to cry in front of us.It etched something permanent in me, and from that day forward, I made a silent vow that no one would ever hurt her again."
Raquel slumps back.I think I might have heard a "Wow," from her.Or maybe that was wishful thinking.
"My mom is too good for the world she got thrown into.Later, she told me, not the others, because they were so young, that we wouldn't be seeing Papa much anymore."
"Rio."Raquel looks like she wants to come over and give me a hug, but we're not those people yet.We don't have that easy going familiarity around one another."I'm so sorry."
"It's not anything you have to be sorry about."
"Did your mom tell you about Jett and the others?"
"Not directly, but I found out by listening to her talking to her friends on the phone, and when they came to the house.Mama thought we were sleeping, but I was wide awake, and sitting on the stairs and listening.That’s when I discovered that Papa had another family.A wife, and three young sons in the US.He and Mama were never together after that.He moved us to the US after that, and put us up in a house in Manhattan.It was tough for her to leave her friends and family in Italy, the only country she’d ever lived in.He must have threatened her, or made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.She stayed with us until we were able to stand on our two feet, then she returned to Italy and lives in Soave now.We visit her as often as we can.”
"How did they meet?"
"She was a shop assistant, working in a haute couture boutique.He was shopping for clothes.He wined and dined her, charmed her, but didn't tell her he was married or that he had children.He cheated on them both.Dex and I are only a year apart in age.He was having babies with both women."
"Ugh."Raquel looks horrified.
I nod.
The old man is the scum of the earth.
A most despicable man.
And, unfortunately my father.
“I’m not a playboy.I don’t have a woman in every city.I don’t screw women for pleasure.I like giving them pleasure, and receiving it from them.I guard my heart with steel walls, and I don’t trust easily.I keep my emotions under lock and key, even when it costs me the very thing I want.”
“What’s that?”
“Real connection.”
She stares at me, wide-eyed, like she can’t believe I’ve just said all that.Hell, I can’t believe it either.I don’t have out pieces of myself.I don’t let women peek behind the armor, yet here I am, laying down my cards for her, and I don’t know if it’s because I want her to understand me, or because some part of me wants her to break through those walls.
Her face hardens as our eyes hold.“I don’t want you to feel sorry for me, or underestimate me, Knight.”
“Underestimate you?”I cry.“Never.”But all the same, I wonder what she’s thinking.
“The thing I can’t ignore is that you, with your yachts, and jets, and power suits and money deals, you are the embodiment of the stories I’ve heard from my mom, from the clinic.My attraction to you feels like a betrayal of who I am, and a betrayal to all the people whose stories are buried deep in my heart like an ache that’s always there.”
I jolt, because she might as well have slapped me.She hates me because I remind her of all that is wrong, but she’s attracted to me.
I can’t win.
She stands, walks over to the balcony door and steps outside, gazing up at the night sky.I follow her.Stars twinkle like shiny orbs of light studded in a rich velvet sky.Below us, the hotel gardens are softly lit.I can make out the outline of the pool, and the curve of the stone pathway.A couple slow dances under a pergola.
Lucky people.
“But none of that explains why I still want you,” she murmurs, as I stand by her side.
My heart explodes.Her words detonate something deep inside.She wants me.Maybe I’m not the only one who’s been obsessed.Just like that, I forget what game we’re playing.
“Look at it this way,” I offer, wanting to lighten the mood.“We have more in common than not.”
