Page 48 of An Unwilling Earl
Jacob tightened his hold on her, as if he didn’t want to let her go. And she was perfectly fine with that.
“It was just a dream. An old dream that I used to have when I was younger. It’s nothing.”
“I think it’s far more than nothing.” He looked worried.
“Truly, Jacob. I’m fine. You can go back to bed.” But she didn’t step out of his embrace, didn’t make an attempt to move away. And he didn’t loosen his hold on her.
He looked down at her with that same look he’d had when he’d kissed her. And she wanted him to kiss her. God help her, she wanted to be kissed again. She wanted him to kiss the fear out of her, to make her tremble in something other than terror.
So she stood on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his. She wasn’t good at kissing, having only done it once before, but she hoped he understood her intentions.
And he did. For a moment he seemed frozen, and then he kissed her back, moving his hands up her spine until they cupped her face as he devoured her lips and she drank him in, learning how to kiss properly.
And that trembling did change to something else, something she couldn’t name. Something her aunt would have called sinful but Charlotte called delightful.
With great reluctance Jacob pulled away from her, and she made a sound of disappointment and regret. Jacob kept his hands on her shoulders to steady her.
“We can’t do this,” he said a bit breathlessly. “This isn’t right. You are my guest. I promised…” He licked his lips. “I promised Suzette that nothing untoward would happen.”
“Suzette?” Her mind was foggy like the banks of the Thames on an autumn morning. What did Suzette have to do with him kissing her? Suzette could care less what Charlotte did with Jacob.
Jacob let his hands fall from her shoulders, and suddenly Charlotte was cold again.
“I’m sorry, Charlotte.”
“Sorry for what?”Please, oh please don’t say you’re sorry you kissed me.She thought her heart would shatter if he regretted kissing her.
He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all different directions. His eyes were bright, his lips red from kissing her, and she suspected that the bulge in his robe was a pleasant side effect.
For once she didn’t care about propriety or sin. Damn her aunt and her damned righteousness.
“Don’t leave me,” she whispered. What she really meant waskeep kissing me until I forget everything.
“Let’s go into the study. I’ll pour some brandy and we can talk.”
Without waiting for a response he turned to leave her room, forcing her to follow.
From a corner of the couch where she had curled up, she watched him stoke the fire and pour them both a healthy glass of brandy. Alcohol was not allowed at her aunt’s house, and she was surprised that it both burned and warmed her tongue and stomach.
Not like Jacob’s kisses did, but it would have to do. Now that they were out of her bedroom and on separate ends of the couch, her blood had cooled and she was not as feverish to keep kissing him, to possibly do things that could get her in trouble.
What if they had intercourse and she became pregnant? Going to America was going to be difficult enough. It would be ten times more difficult with a baby.
“Do you want to tell me about the dream?” he asked from his end of the couch.
She hesitated, because she didn’t want to tell him, and yet part of her did. “I don’t think it’s a surprise that life with my aunt was not pleasant.”
“I gathered that.”
“She’s a cruel woman who overly relies on religion to excuse her actions. She believed that if she didn’t correct my sins, then I would go to hell. It was her personal mission to make sure I made it to heaven.”
“I think you were already in hell.”
“I’ve never thought about it that way, but you might be right. She certainly made my life hell.”
“Did she beat you?” he asked softly.
“Sometimes.”
