Page 71 of An Unwilling Earl
He felt like a weight had been lifted with the admission. He didn’t regret marrying her. Helikedthat he was married to her.
And maybe Armbruster was right. Cora would understand.
“Oh.” She looked down at her plate. “I just meant that if we are wrong then we didn’t have to get married.”
Jacob put his fork down to consider her. “Do you think we are wrong? About Edmund?”
She fiddled with her fork, still not looking at him. Thankfully, his body had cooled and was somewhat under control, although his erection was not as painful, it was still there, hoping.
“I don’t know. I don’t want to believe I’m right, but the parallel between how those girls were killed and what he did to those cats…” She shuddered. “It seems like something we can’t overlook.”
“I agree.” He picked his fork up and was prepared to spear another piece of meat but put his fork back down and looked at her intently. “And what about our marriage? Do you think we were wrong to do that?”
He was in a strange, intense mood. He hoped he wasn’t scaring Charlotte, but there were all of these emotions inside of him, and he didn’t know how to deal with them.
“I think it’s far too late to wonder such a thing.” She grinned, and a bit of his anxiety lessened.
“I don’t think we were wrong.” He picked his fork up again and speared his meat rather viciously.
“I’m glad,” she said softly.
He continued to eat while Charlotte just moved her food around on her plate.
“Are you not hungry?” Jacob asked, eyeing her plate. “Mrs. Smith made your favorite dessert.”
“I know. I’m just too nervous to eat.”
“What are you nervous about?”
Making love? Because despite his body’s obvious anticipation of it, he was nervous as well. He’d never bed another woman before. Only Cora.
“This.” Her fingers fluttered through the air. “Everything.”
“Meeting with the detective tomorrow?”
“That, too.”
She dabbed her mouth with her napkin and suddenly appeared pale and nervous, exactly as she had when he saw her right before the wedding ceremony. He’d been nervous then, too.
“What do you expect from this marriage?” she blurted out. Her hand covered her mouth, and her eyes widened, as if she were appalled that she had voiced the question.
But Jacob was glad to have it out in the open. “I guess I was waiting to find out what you wanted from this marriage,” he said.
“You know what I want.”
“Safety. Security. You have all of that. For as long as you want it. Even if you go to America and we are still married.”
“You would let me go to America while we are still married?”
“If that is what would make you feel safer.”
“But why? Don’t you want to be free to find a wife?”
His heart twisted. “I have a wife.”
She folded her hands in her lap and looked at her plate. “I like to think I’m a strong woman,” she said. “I survived my time with my aunt. I survived my time in the rookery. And yet, so many things frighten me.”
“Strong people are scared all of the time. Facing their fears is what makes them strong.”
