Page 72 of An Unwilling Earl
“I don’t feel strong right now. I don’t know what the future holds. I used to think about my future when I was living with my aunt, and I knew that whatever it was, it couldn’t be as bad as the present. There had to be a better future for me. I clung to that, and I think it was that thought that gave me the courage to escape. But now, I don’t know what the answer is. I don’t know what path holds the rest of my future.”
“What are the two paths?” he asked.
She looked up at him. “America.” She paused. “Or England.”
His breath caught in his throat. “I’m surprised to hear that you would consider staying.”
“But if I stay the stain of divorce would follow us.”
“If you stay is there a reason to divorce?”
Her eyes glistened with tears in the candlelight. “We’ve not even been married for twenty-four hours. Is this really what we want to discuss on our wedding day?”
“You were the one who said you were frightened of the future. Are you frightened because you do not know what it holds, or are you frightened because you suspect what itcanhold?”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Let’s abandon talk of the future of our marriage and concentrate only on the immediate future—tonight and tomorrow,” Jacob said. “Let’s take this one day at a time.”
Tonight.
It was the only word that her mind grabbed onto and the one word that she had avoided thinking about all day.
Her future was an unknown, but more importantly, tonight was an unknown as well. What did Jacob expect of her? Did he want a true marriage in every possible way?
She should not want that. This was temporary, right? Just until this murder investigation was cleared. And then she would go to America and all of this would be in the past.
But it wasn’t as uncomplicated as all of that. In fact, it was very complicated.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, Charlotte.”
“But what do you want?” Two made up a marriage. She might be naive to most of this, but she did know that it took two for a marriage to work.
So did that mean she wanted this marriage to work?
His eyes had darkened, and it was as if he became a different man, larger, more formidable. Instead of frightening her, it did something else to her. Made her stomach clench and her thighs tremble.
“Do you really want me to answer that?” he said.
“I want to know.” Her voice had grown soft, but not timid. “I need to know what you expect out of this marriage.
“I want to take you to bed and make this a real marriage in all ways.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and she blinked, not expecting him to be so forthright.
She could deny him. He said she didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. She could say no on the pretense that eventually she would go to America and why complicate things?
Or she could say yes and tie herself to him even more. They would be man and wife in all ways then.
And then what? What did that mean for her? What did that mean for him? For their marriage? For her future plans?
How had this all become so complicated?
“I…” She should say no. But she didn’t want to say no. She wanted to say yes and lie with Jacob and know what it felt like. She wanted a true marriage, and she was well aware that doing so would compromise her future plans.
He tilted his head and studied her, patiently waiting for her answer.
“Yes,” she whispered.
