Page 110 of Every Broken Piece
The new husband leans forward and cups the back of his bride’s head to kiss her softly. When they break away, she presses her forehead to his. He turns into her to whisper in her ear. She nods, then smiles. They pull away and hand in handwalk down a path, making it look like they’re walking into the sun.
When I look up at Gabe there’s something soft and vulnerable in his expression.
“What a beautiful way to start a new life. Just them and their love against the gorgeous backdrop of mountains and red rocks.” I want that all-consuming feeling. I want that person who’smyperson. And like I always do when these yearnings get to be too much, I push them down deep inside. That isn’t the life for me and never will be. Yearning won’t make it any different.
When we reach the parking lot, Gabe opens the back hatch of his SUV. He drives the same kind of car he rented in Cincinnati, however, I discovered he has other cars too. A sleek Bugatti and, to my surprise, a beat up pickup. “Because every Coloradan needs a pickup,” he told me.
He helps me up into the the back of the SUV, then hops in beside me to pull food out of the cooler, handing me a turkey sandwich so large it could feed three people. There’s no way I can eat all of it but I’m hungry enough to give it a go.
“You made these?” The thick slices of bread are definitely not store bought. The turkey is thinly sliced layered with a fancy cheese and some sort of spread that tastes like nothing I’ve ever had before.
“My housekeeper made them. It's outside my chicken parm and egg repertoire.”
“Well it’s delicious and thank you for bringing it.”
We eat in silence, but I can’t get the bride and groom out of my mind.
“You’re deep in thought over there,” Gabe says as he finishes off his sandwich. I’ve only made it through a quarter of mine and already I’m full.
“Just thinking about that couple.”
“It’s a beautiful place to say your vows.”
I hum my agreement, but it was more than the place. It was the look on the groom’s face. It was the delicate way he held her. It was him whispering in her ear and her smile at his secret words and the love that I could see from a distance.
“How’s the apartment and job hunting?” Gabe asks.
My thoughts are ripped from the beauty of that moment to the reality of my jobless, homeless existence. I wrap the rest of my sandwich up and brush the crumbs from my hand. Gabe opens a bougie water and hands it to me, then reaches into the cooler and pulls out a container of strawberries.
“It’s going okay,” I say. “Pax directed me to the best places to live in Denver. Unfortunately, they’re out of my price range so we’ll have to look at second best places.” More likely fourth and fifth best places.
“Did you have any luck with the jobs?”
I twirl a strawberry by its stem, noticing he didn’t comment on the apartment situation. Not that I expect nor want him to offer his home as my permanent residence. I can do this on my own, but I think it’s interesting he hasn’t given me his thoughts.
“I really need a work from home position. It’s just too risky to work in an office if Sandra finds me. But the only work from home jobs I can find are the sketch kind that offer a million dollars a year for ten hours of work. I did apply for two receptionist jobs. One at a real estate office and another at a doctor’s office, but I don’t know if I’ll follow through with those.”
He’s squinting off into the distance, chewing a strawberry but I get the impression his back teeth are gnashing the fruit instead. He swallows then his chest heaves in a lungful of air before he blows it out slowly and turns to face me.
“Come work for me. We’ll bury you so far inside the building that your mother will never find you.”
I grin as I take a bite of the strawberry. “Jacob isn’t working out?”
“He doesn’t send good morning emails and what emails he does send are sorely lacking in smiley faces.”
“Poor Gabriel. Missing those smiley faces, huh?”
He touches the end of my ponytail almost reverently, his eyes following his movements. “He isn’t you, Tess. We made a great team. And I miss you.”
I fiddle with the Velcro on my wrist brace, my throat suddenly thick with dangerous emotions that I have no business contemplating. If I had all my wishes come true, I’d want to be standing up on those rocks in a white flowing dress and holding Gabe’s hands. I squeeze my eyes shut and push those traitorous visions away, plaster on a fake smile and playfully knock my shoulder into his. “You mean after you thawed and stopped being so grumpy we made a great team.”
He huffs out a laugh. “I was a dick, wasn’t I?”
“You were...something.”
“I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s forgotten.”
