Page 112 of Every Broken Piece
“Love is about facing the ugly together to get to the beauty.”
I want to tell her that I’m standing right here willing to take on the ugly with her.
I’ll continue to give her my truth until she realizes that the love she never thought was possible is right in front of her. I’ll pick up every broken piece of her and put her back together again.
The sun is just starting to set when we get close to the parking lot. On impulse I grab Tess’s hand and pull her toward a large rock. I climb up, then hold my hand down to her.
She squints up at me. The fading sun backlights her, outlining her hair in a fiery cacophony so bright it plunges her face into darkness. My heart does this slow roll that fucking hurts. Like the sun splintering all around her, my feelings splinter, multiply, divide. I’m a goner. I’m so far deep into this woman there’s no digging myself out. I also know that she’s still primed to run, not trusting this world I want to lay at her feet. The heavy truth crashes at my feet.
If she leaves, it will shatter me. I’ve been destroyed by love before, and I don’t ever want to go there again. But with Tess, I’m afraid I’m already there.
She takes my hand, and I gently haul her up the boulder.
“What are we doing?” She shields her eyes with her injured arm and looks out over the rocks.
“Wait and see.” I pull her down with me, nestling her between my outstretched legs, pulling her back against my chest. I bury my nose in her hair, inhaling her vanilla scent.
The sun slowly lowers, painting the sky and the clouds shades of bright oranges and pinks that fade into purples and blues until the sun is a starburst, rays shining upward, piercing the clouds with one final show of brilliance before it dips behind the mountains.
Tess sighs and leans her head against my chest. “That was magnificent. Thank you for this day, Gabe. It’s been the best day of my life.”
I close my eyes and rest my chin on her shoulder. “I love you, Tess.”
She stiffens, her rigid body curving away from mine. Fuck. I just ruined what was a beautiful moment, but I can’t hold it in anymore. I can’t lie to myself or to her. So, I tug her back into my body, holding her tight to keep her from running.
“You don’t have to say the words back. You don’t have to say the words at all if you don’t feel the same way, but I need you to know how I feel. I love you. I think I started falling for you that night at the hotel bar when I was so damn lonely and all I could think about was you and how I just wanted to connect with you. Maybe something in me knew before my stupid brain did that you were the one.”
“Gabe—”
“Don’t say anything now. Just know that you telling me this is the best day you ever had is something I’ll cherish forever. I want to give you more days like this. I want to take you to every city you’ve ever wanted to go. But more than that, I want you to feel safe for the rest of your life.”
She shifts and I pull my arms away so she can turn to face me. Kneeling between my knees she studies me, her eyes jumping back and forth over my face. I give her everything. Every feeling, every fear, it’s all written there for her to see.
“I don’t know how to love,” she finally says.
“You do. I see it when you’re with Amelia. I see it when you’re pruning your plants. I see it when you talk about your clients.”
“That’s not love.”
“Itislove. Youdoknow how to love. You’re just afraid to, and rightfully so because no one’s ever taught you to love with your whole heart.”
She touches my cheek, her expression soft and yearning. “I can’t love because it will hurt too much when I have to leave.”
“No more running, Tess. Remember? We’re fighting your mother together.”
Her smile is sad, and I realize then that she’s never really believed that we can stop Sandra.
“Please don’t give me your heart,” she whispers. “I’m not worthy.”
I lean forward to kiss her softly. “There’s no one more worthy than you. And it’s too late. You already have my heart.”
Chapter fifty-one
Gabe
She’s quiet on the long drive home. I know I gave her a lot to think about, and I can only pray that she thinks hard about what I’m offering. But in the end, it’s up to Tess what she decides to do. It’s always been up to Tess. I’m just the poor fool sucked into her orbit and am now hopelessly in love with a woman who’s taken to running like it’s an Olympic event.
She has my heart and if she runs away with it then so be it. Hopefully it will lead her back to me some day. Or maybe it will convince her to stay and put down roots with me.
