Page 73 of Every Broken Piece
Finally, she locks on me, but it takes a few deep breaths for her brain to register that I’m not the threat.
Her shoulders slump and she presses fingers to her temples, wincing.
I remain still, afraid to move too fast and startle her. I’m helpless and clueless as to what to do to console her. Hug her? Give her space? Touch her? Keep my distance?
Eventually she tips her head back and blinks at the ceiling, fingers twitching in her lap.
“What do you need from me?” My voice doesn’t even sound like mine, so thick with the effort it takes to suppress my fury at the guy who took the essence of my girl and made her into a ball of fear.
She tips her chin down to stare at her clasped hands. “I need you to leave, but I want you to stay.”
I sit up and scoot across the bed so I’m sitting in front of her, still wary about touching her and that pisses me off too—that he’s taken the option of comforting her from me. I wait until those long, dark lashes rise and she’s looking into my eyes. What I see would have taken me to my knees if I’d been standing. The fear, the confusion, the regret guts me.
“I’m staying,” I say. “And whatever’s going on, whatever you’re afraid of, we’ll face it together.”
“You can’t fight my enemies.”
“Who says?”
She touches my cheek, runs her fingers through my beard. I close my eyes and lean into her touch.
“Gabriel Strong, there are things out there that you’ve never encountered, foes you can’t vanquish.”
Her fingers trail down my neck, making me shudder.
“You know nothing of the things I’ve encountered or the foes I’ve vanquished.”
She pulls her hand away and it takes everything in me to keep from grabbing it and placing it back on my cheek, but her hands are clenched into tight fists, and I mourn the absence of her touch.
“This isn’t some corporate game, Gabe. This is dirty and evil.”
“I can play dirty.” I want her to tell me everything. I want her to spill it all, her childhood, her bitch of a mother, the terrors she’s lived through, the terror she’s running from now. I want her to know that I know, but I also realize she needs to be readyto share her secrets and the only thing I can do is be here when she’s ready.
She looks so sad, so...defeated. “Not this kind of dirty. Not this level of evil.”
I reach for her, but she slides off the bed before I can touch her. I feel like this will always be us—her walking away, me reaching for her but never catching her. Wanting but never having. Yearning and always falling short.
“Tell me,” I beg. “Tell me and let me help you.”
When she turns those despondent eyes to me, her long hair falling straight down her back, dressed in cartoon cactus pajama pants and an oversized souvenir t-shirt, I truly see her. I see what she hides from the world, what she won’t let others see. But in this moment, she’s giving me the gift of a glimpse into her soul.
She’s fragile beauty. But she’s also tenacious strength. It would be easy for her to hand her worries off to me and let me take care of her. But she won’t. Because she’s never had anyone willing to stay and fight for her.
Until now.
I’ll burn the fucking world down to crush her enemies so she can finally live in peace.
Chapter thirty-eight
Tess
My feelings are too transparent. I can’t hide from Gabe like I can from everyone else so like the coward that I am, I run to the bathroom to hide from that piercing, knowing gaze.
However, it’s hard to hide in a bathroom when the door’s hanging by one hinge. I manage to get it closed enough to give me the illusion of privacy and sit on the closed toilet seat, folding myself in half to lean over my knees and hang my head to calm my racing thoughts.
Gabe thinks he wants to know what’s wrong, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to know that my mother sent horrible men after me to collect the money she owes. That this isn’t an uncommon occurrence. That I run from this scenario over and over and over. That I’ll never be rid of her until she draws her last breath.
That I still hold out hope in the deep recesses of the little girl that still lives within me, that someday my mom will get clean, and she’ll be the mother I always wanted but never had. That she’ll live the rest of her days making up for the hell that’s been my entire life.
