Page 92 of Every Broken Piece
Maybe—I don’t even want to put this out in the universe, but there’s nothing wrong with admitting it to myself—maybe I can find happiness in Colorado. With Gabe. He seems to really want me to go. He’s promised so many impossible things that my cynical self would normally scoff at and yet I don’t. I don’t want to scoff. I want to believe.
I know that this hope, this improbable reaching for something so out of my grasp, will break me but what if I don’t try? What if I regret never taking a chance?
I don’t want to be stuck in this endless cycle of running from Sandra.
I want to live.
And I want to live in Colorado. Or at least try.
“We can take the plants with us if that makes you feel better.”
My grin is wobbly. “That would be silly. You’re right. Amelia will take good care of them.”
“You ready then? The plane takes off in an hour.”
I turn away from the plants and take a big breath. Am I ready? I’m packed. My suitcases are standing by the front door. But am Iready?
I take a look around the home that kept me safe for two years. My refuge. My self-imposed jail.
Gabe touches my arm. “For as long as you want, Tess. You don’t have to stay in Colorado forever. Just as long as you want.”
What if I want forever?
The better question is what if I’m running away and all the mixed-up emotions inside me are based off fear instead of these new feelings germinating inside me? Like the plants in the little cups of water on my windowsill, trying like hell to grow roots in a new environment. Will that be me in Colorado?
Am I ready?
Yeah. I think I am.
“Let’s go,” I say.
Gabe smiles and leads me to the door. He picks up my suitcases and when he shuts the door behind us, I feel the click of that lock down to my soul. This is literally the closing of a door to one part of my life. It’s up to me to open the next door.
He helps me into the ginormous SUV that I almost need a step stool to get into. Before taking his seat behind the wheel he stops to talk to Roger. Both men stand with their backs to the building, their gazes casting around the street while they talk. After a few minutes he slaps Roger on the back and gets in the car.
I stare out the window as we glide through the streets of Cincinnati, feeling mixed emotions about leaving, but mostly relief that maybe this time I’m leaving the past behind me for good.
All too soon we turn into a small airport that services corporate and charter planes.
“I’ve never flown before,” I say as I stare up at the plane that will take us to Denver. I don’t know much about airplanes, but this one looks too small to carry us so far.
Gabe opens his door to get out. “You’ll love it. Especially when we land in Denver at around the same time we took off here.”
“I was expecting a big commercial jet.”
“I try to fly commercial as often as possible. However, we’re flying private today for two reasons. One, I have a lot of work I need to do on the flight. Two, I want you all to myself.”
See? He says things like this that give me this warm gooey feeling that makes me believe I’m not stupid to hope.
We climb the steps and enter the plane. I’ve seen enough movies to know what to expect from a private jet, but the opulence still takes my breath away. Buttery, leather seats you can sink into. Small sitting areas with tables between them. I bet there’s even a bedroom somewhere but I’m not going to ask.
He leads us to a grouping of chairs. “Take the one by the window. Window seats are the best.”
I sit, suddenly nervous as Gabe settles in next to me. Am I doing the right thing? Should I have insisted he leave without me? He has a life in Denver, a successful business, his brother. His son. And I’ll be crashing into all that, bringing my extensive baggage with me.
“Stop thinking so hard, Spitfire, and just enjoy your first flight.”
I lower myself into the soft seats, willing my mind to stop spinning down dark holes. I’m not making a lifetime commitment to Denver. I can leave when I want. But I already know I don’t want to leave and I’m not even there yet.
