Page 141 of The Call of Crimson
“He cares for me, Aurelius,” is all I can manage, because I don’t know the truth of Ayden’s feelings. Even if I did, I wouldn’t dare voice them. “He knows me, understands me.”
“That’s not what I asked,” he growls.
The breath in my lungs vanishes as he invades my space, my back hitting the wall. Warm fingers trace my jaw, gripping my chin firmly as he tilts my face up to meet his.
Quietly, almost too low to hear, he asks, “Do you love him?”
I can see the physical pain his question elicits. It’s mirrored in my own soul, shredding at the very fabric of my being. Nausea churns in my gut at the words that slip from my tongue, “I think I could.”
“No, Breyla,” he whispers as his fingers fall away from my face. They trail down my neck, squeezing softly as his hand brackets my throat. Warm breath dusts my ear when he leans in to whisper, “You could never love Ayden.”
My breath hitches at the surety of his words—the absolute possession.
“Pardon?” I breathe.
“He could be a sinner or the god Saelem in mortal form,” Aurelius starts.
Confusion lifts my brow. “I’m fairly certain he’s the future king of Prudia,” I deadpan.
A frustrated growl reverberates through his chest, and he bands his free hand across my mouth. “He could be your saving grace or your ruinous destruction. A stranger or your oldest friend. I don’t care if he married you ten times over or knew every part of your radiant soul.”
What’s your point?I want to ask, but his hands squeeze tighter.
The air catches in my throat from the pressure as he murmurs, “But he will never love you like I can.”
“You can’t love me like that,” I gasp, fresh oxygen flooding my lungs when he finally eases the pressure around my throat.
“Why not?” he demands.
I close my eyes, squeezing them tightly to combat the burning of the tears that threaten to break free. “Because one or both of us is going to be forced to watch the other walk away. I’m engaged. A fact neither of us can change without risking war.”
Aurelius leans his forehead against mine, hand stroking my cheek with aching tenderness. “It never stopped us before.”
“Maybe it should have,” I say, the words bitter on my tongue. Everything about the statement feels wrong, but I can’t take it back now.
He stills, then slowly pulls back, searching my eyes, pleading for something I'm too broken to give.
“Take it back,” he whispers.
I remain quiet, biting the inside of my cheek to keep my composure.
My voice is a raspy whisper when I finally utter, “I fucking love you, but I can’t.”
“No,” he grits, his jaw ticking and eyes burning. “You don’t get to say those words and break my heart in the same breath.”I swear I see the reflection of tears pooling in his eyes as he demands, “Take. It. Back.”
Everything in me screams, my heart begging me to comply and take it all back. But I can’t. We were doomed from the start, and everything has led to this moment. The moment I break us both.
Silence.
“I see,” he says, withdrawing from me. The devastation is plain in his eyes.
He’s gone, the light going with him, in the next second.
In the pitch dark, I suck in a rattling breath, fighting the sobs clawing up my throat. Tears stream down my cheeks, soaking the mask still covering my face.
The door bursts open once again, and I gasp in surprise.
“There you are, darling. I’ve been looking for you,” Ayden’s smooth accented voice rolls through the space between us.
