Page 166 of The Call of Crimson
“My track record would suggest so,” I admit, for the first time, unashamedly.
“Oh, now you have to give me the details.”
I chuckle, feeling lighter than I have in weeks. This moment feels like something I would have Ophelia, and for just a moment, I let Rowina fill the void her absence left in me.
“The first male I ever cared for romantically was the son of the leader of the Midnight Brotherhood, a mercenary guild in Rimor. He enlisted in the castle guard with the sole purpose of spying and recruiting from within.”
“Wow, that’s a lot to unpack.”
“I was the one to figure it out, but I couldn’t bring myself to execute him. Or even report it formally.”
She tilts her head, her honey-gold eyes assessing me. “Why not?”
“If you’d asked me back then... I’d have said it was pragmatic. His father was a problem, and I knew one day he’d take his place. I figured the devil you know is better than the one you don’t and took a chance that Cillian would be a better option than possibly inciting war with the Midnight Brotherhood by killing their heir.”
“But that’s not the only reason, is it?”
I sigh, deliberating how to explain why I spared Cillian. “Don’t get me wrong, having a mercenary king with a life debt to you is very useful. But if that were all it was, I wouldn’t have found myself back in his bed so many times over the years.”
“Was the sex really that good?”
“That’s beside the point,” I deflect.
“It so was!” Rowina laughs, bursting into a fit of giggles.
“Calm down, you fiend. Yes, Cillian knows exactly what he’s doing when it comes to the female body.” I nudge her shoulder. “The point is that I loved him, though I would’ve never admitted that out loud. And I couldn’t stomach the heartbreak of hisbetrayal and the devastation of ending his life. It would have broken me entirely.”
“When did you finally move on?”
Our walk slows outside another storefront, similar to Collin’s bookshop, though this one bears no sign. From the outside, it’s impossible to tell what it holds.
“Shortly before I realized what I felt Cillian was a fraction of what I feel for…” I trail off, remembering Ayden’s warning about there being a traitor in his kingdom, and think better of uttering Aurelius’ name out loud.
“My brother?” Rowina offers.
Bless her for saving me, whether she knows which brother I’m referring to or not.
I nod, my cheeks flushing.
She opens the door, ushering me inside.
The shop is stunning. Lavish garments cover every inch of the space. Every color and style of clothing imaginable is available on the racks of rich fabrics, shelves of delicate lace and furs, all bathed in warm light. I bypass the gowns and make for the back, where fur-lined cloaks and trousers hang like forbidden treasure.
A warm brown cloak with gold stitching and a white fur lining catches my eye. Upon further inspection, I find the gold stitches form the pattern of stars along the edges. I run my fingers along the collar, admiring how buttery soft the material feels.
“Find something you fancy, Your Highness?” a soft, feminine voice inquires.
I turn to find the same seamstress responsible for my engagement ballgowns. “It’s Emery, right?”
“It is, Princess.” She nods, smiling demurely. “You have a sharp memory.”
“You are immeasurably gifted,” I praise, watching her eyes light. “I’m sorry to report that something tragic happened to the gold gown, but the black one served me well.”
Emery blushes. “Ah, well. It would have been a disservice to let anyone else wear that dress. It was made for you, after all.”
“This cloak is marvelous. What fur is this?” I ask, stroking the soft inner lining.
“Snow leopard from Meloria, my lady.” She gestures to a table nearby. “There is a pair of matching gloves, as well.”
