Page 236 of The Call of Crimson
“Why did I like that so much?” I whisper.
“I already told you, no one is truly innocent. There are dark parts to your soul, just as there are bright parts of mine. Your darkness is a part of you, and it’s beautiful. Watching you embrace it? It’s intoxicating.” His lips brush my jaw. “You crave control. But giving up control like that… that’s the most powerful act there is. You held all the power tonight, little goddess. If you’d said the word, I’d have stopped. No questions. You never did.”
His kisses continue along my jaw until he reaches my lips. He places a chaste kiss there, whispering, “But for the record, I’m really glad you didn’t. You’re so beautifully vicious.”
His fingers continue softly caressing my side.
“I’m a broken little thing,” I choke out the words.
“Broken doesn’t mean less than. There will come a day when you put yourself back together, and I pity anyone who stands in your way when that day comes.”
I fall silent, letting the weight of his words settle in my chest. I want to believe him. I hope he’s right.
“Thank you, Cillian,” I say softly.
“For what?”
“For embracing the part of myself that I fear.”
“I rather like that part of you,” he says with a wink. “You should let her out to play more often.”
“My friends wouldn’t understand,” I sigh.
He cocks his head at me. “Wouldn’t they?”
“No, they wouldn’t.”
“You’re wrong, just so you know.”
I don’t have the energy to argue, so I don’t. Instead, I begin to shift out of bed.
“Stay,” he demands softly, pulling me back toward him.
“I can’t. This can’t mean anything.”
“Then it won’t. It’s just sleeping.”
I push myself up and fight the tears forming behind my eyes. “I can’t, Cillian. I’ve only ever shared a bed withhim.If I stay, it will mean something. It can’t mean anything because then it feels like everything I shared with him means nothing.”
The admission has pain creeping back in, and Cillian gives me a sad look. With one last kiss, he lets me go. “I don’t agree, but I understand. Good night, Ophelia.”
I dress quickly and wrap my cloak around me, stepping into the hallway as quietly as possible.
My shoulders fall as I fight the pain creeping further under my skin. As it turns out, Cillian’s room isn’t far from my own.
Looking down the hall, I startle when I notice a figure across from me. As they step away from the wall, I find Ayden staring at me. My cheeks flush at what he must have heard if he’d been outside the door for long.
“Good evening, Ophelia.”
“Good evening, Prince.” My voice is soft as I ask, “How long have you been standing there?”
His chest rises as he inhales a deep breath before answering, “Long enough.”
“Why?”
“I went to your room looking for you. I was going to offer to quiet your dreams. When you weren’t there, I went in search of you. It didn’t take long to find you.”
I’m not sure how to read the emotions on his face right now. His words are neutral, but he sounds uncomfortable or upset by something.
