Page 36 of The Call of Crimson
“It hasn’t for me.” She stares ahead, lost in thought. “But being broken doesn’t mean we’re any less. Sometimes, the defect is greater than the entire. We just have to learn to live with that.”
“Does the pain ever go away?”
“No, you merely get better at carrying it.” Jade pauses, her voice softer now. “I wish I had hope to give you, but things don’t really get easier; you just learn to live with them better. The female I was with Julian is dead. I’m still figuring out who I am now, and you will, too. But it takes time.”
“It should have been me, Jade. That blade was meant for me.” The guilt bleeds through every syllable.
“There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think the same about Julian. I would switch places with him in a heartbeat. But we can’t. So we live, for them, until it’s time to see them again.”
I nod. “Layne would want me to live.”
“As would Julian. So we will. Just promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“No more late-night swims alone.”
Her tone is serious, but I can’t help the laughter that bursts out of me. “I’ll do my best. I did tell you I had no idea how I got here.”
“I’d hate to be the one to tell Elijah you died. Maybe you should just have him tie you down at night to keep you in place. Kinky fucker would enjoy it.”
I flush at the thought of Elijah tying me down. “I, uh?—”
“Oh!” Jade’s eyes widen. “You haven’t fucked yet, have you?”
“No,” I groan. “He’s more than happy to, uh—take care of me. But every time we get close, something gets in the way.”
“Oh, babe,” Jade grins. “You are in for the ride of your life.”
“Wait—” my eyes widen. “You and Elijah…”
Jade laughs, throwing her head back. “Oh yes. But it’s old news. There’s never been anything except the physical between us.”
“But he and Julian—I got the impression they were also lovers.”
“They were,” she confirms, her smirk deepening as the blush rises on my cheeks.
“So, you both slept with him?”
“I mean, not at the same time. That would be gross.” Jade shudders at the thought.
“This is not how I thought this conversation would go.”
Jade laughs again, her entire body shaking. “Come on, babe. Let’s get you back to the castle and out of those wet clothes.”
The trek back is quiet, a comfortable silence settling over us. The sun’s risen higher now, and the castle bustles with mid-morning activity, staff hurrying to and from tasks, the weight of our world temporarily distant.
“Elijah!” Jade calls as we turn down the east wing toward my chambers.
He looks up, blond brow arched in confusion. The corner of his mouth quirks in a half-smile, dimple peeking out as he asks, “Why are you both wet?”
“Keep an eye on this female of yours—apparently she sleepwalks.”
“Oh?” His brown eyes sparkle with mischief. “I guess I’ll have to keep her in my bed, then.” He loops an arm around my waist, pulling me into his embrace.
“I don’t think you’ll hear any protests from her,” Jade says with a smirk.
“That’s not necessary.” I blush, embarrassment and something else flooding my veins. “I’ve never done that before. I’m sure it won’t happen again.”
