Page 8 of Ripe & Ready
Derek snorts. Actually snorts and then flashes me that grin. The one that makes me feel like I’m sixteen again, like my heart’s about to slam out of my chest and do a little dance on a jungle leaf.
“Idiot,” he says, but he’s smiling. I’m pretty sure I’d kiss Neptune himself if it meant he’d keep looking at me like that.
Obed motions to the group. “We’ll let the gorillas rest now. They’re wary of us, and we don’t want to overstay, but we’ll continue our trek through the Congo. There’s still so much wildlife to see.”
Derek’s eyes light up, practically glowing through the jungle haze. Of course he’s excited. This is his dream. I should be excited too. I mean, we’re in one of the most biodiverse places onthe planet. There are animals here you can’t see anywhere else on earth.
But all I can think about is how gross I am, how hard my boots are rubbing, and how close I am to losing it if one more thing flies at my face.
Obed continues, calm as ever. “Once we finish for the day, I’ll take you into the village for any supplies you may need.”
Supplies. Cool. Will they have the ingredients for a margarita?! After this day I could take the edge off.
We walk for a bit in comfortable silence. I know Derek’s still thinking about the gorillas and I’m still very much trying not to think about the way I almost cried next to them. It’s peaceful, in a soggy, something-might-be-watching kind of way.
And then, because the jungle cannot let me have one nice thing, a spider the size of a goddamn salad plate drops straight from the canopy and lands directly on my shoulder.
I scream.
Not, like, a cute yelp. No. I shriek and immediately start flailing. My backpack swings. My boots slip. I nearly take Derek out with a wild elbow.
“GET IT OFF ME!” I shout, spinning in frantic circles. “OH MY GOD GET IT OFF… IS IT IN MY SHIRT?!”
Derek’s laughing. Of course he is. Fully doubled over, hands on his knees, trying to speak through his wheezing. “Andy… oh my God… it’s gone, you yeeted it across the jungle!”
“IT HAD A SHADOW, DEREK. I saw its knee joints. That thing drives a Honda.”
He tries to reach for me, still laughing. I’m sure to him this is all some fun jungle bonding moment and not the actual unraveling of my sanity. I take a dramatic step back, still panting, every nerve in my body on high alert. “Don’t touch me. I’m contaminated.”
“You’re not contaminated,” he says, all calm and smug as he runs his hands up and down my arms. “You’re fine. It was just a spider.”
“It was notjusta spider, Derek. Don’t be so calm!”
Beside us, Obed chuckles. “Your friend is right. That was a simple tree spider. Completely harmless.”
Derek whips around to me as if to sayLook, See?! Even the expert agrees this was nothing.
Before he can savor the vindication, Obed adds, “The real danger is the J'ba Fofi.”
I blink. “The what now?”
He lifts a finger, eyebrows wagging with delight. “The Congolese giant spider. They can grow up to the size of a house. Mostly they eat deer and birds, but some say... they’ve preyed on humans, too.”
My eyes go wide. I look to Derek, panicked, as if to sayLOOK, SEE?! Even the expert agrees there’s reason to worry.
“They’ve been spotted on and off since the 1890s,” Obed continues, his deep brown eyes sparkling with way too much enthusiasm. “Legend says they once attacked an entire battalion of soldiers.”
“That settles it,” I say, already mentally packing my bag. “I gotta get on the first flight back to America. I cannot get eaten by a spider the size of a house, Derek. I refuse.”
Obed chuckles. “You mustn’t worry. I have spider repellent in the truck. I will give it to you on the way to the village.”
Derek loses it again, really laughing now, while Obed turns back to the others and starts leading us through the jungle toward the Land Rover.
Then Derek leans in, way too close, his breath warm against the shell of my ear. Goosebumps erupt instantly because of the heat, obviously. Definitely not the whisper and definitely not because of the way his lips graze against my skin.
“If there was a house-sized spider,” he murmurs, voice low and teasing, “I’d protect you.”
Then he pulls back. Full dimples on display.
