Page 100 of Stay With Me
“Thank you! I sure hope that maybe one calf will be born soon,” she says as she grabs her book.
“It’s that time of year. I think we have the vet coming out in a week or two to check on them. You better start thinking of names for them,” Ann adds as she finishes up her coffee.
I smile to myself. I love how much they love her and treat her like family.
When I first left The Family, I remember working at a diner when a family came in. The love between them was evident as they sat around the table. It’s everything I wanted, and from the moment I stepped into Griffin’s Den, that’s what I’ve felt. It’s why I’ve stayed as long as I have.
For the first time in my life, I feel at home with who I am and the people I’m with, and I will fight to keep that.
“I’ll start making a list and run them by Mr. Joe when we go check on them,” she says as she heads to the porch.
“Tell me how things are going. Have you talked to Noah about your feelings yet?” Ann says to me once Jess is out the door.
A blush creeps across my cheeks as I think about how our conversation ended last night. “If you mean did we talk about how I felt as if I was taking advantage of him because he wouldn’t let me contribute, and we came up with a deal on how to move forward, then yes. I did.”
She puts her hand on my shoulder and places her cup in the sink. “I’m proud of you, Luna. That’s a hard conversation to have.” She squeezes my shoulder. “Now, have you told the man you love him yet?”
My mouth opens and closes, and I shake my head. “It’s too soon for that. I don’t know if I love him. I do like him, very much so.”
“My dear, you are one of the smartest people I have the privilege of knowing. You run this bed-and-breakfast on your own and have grown it more than we ever could. I know you’re not as experienced in life outside of what you left. And I know you read those romance novels with the girls. Those books show you that there is no timeline for falling in love. Sometimes your soul meets its other half and recognizes it instantly. I know that man loves you. You can see it in his eyes just as much as I see it in yours. Allow yourself to fall. You will find that you’ll catcheach other.” She lets go of my shoulder and starts to gather ingredients for the bread we make a few times a week.
Her words roll in my head. “I don’t know if I trust what I think love looks like. I didn’t experience it with The Family. Yes, I read about it, but those stories are made up.” I face her with my hip propped on the counter. “I’m afraid I’ll fall back into a cycle of dependence and toxic lifestyles.”
“The stories themselves might be made up, but the love stories have some truth behind them. You might not have grown up with love, but it’s in you. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have taken in Jess without a second thought. You would have given her over to the state and let it be their problem.”
“She isn’t a problem,” I say defensively, cutting her off.
“I know she isn’t, but if you had no love in you, that’s exactly what you would think. Kids are hard, and even harder when they come from a family like you both did. Yes, you have Noah, who, being the man he is, stepped in because he knew it would make your life easier, but he let you determine how you wanted to tackle everything. You both have been put in a very challenging situation, and while it isn’t perfect, you’ve moved forward, albeit a bit unconventionally, with starting a little family. You’re doing so well. You also voiced your concerns, showing you won’t take things you don’t like lying down like you might have been forced to before.”
“Yeah, I was worried about having the conversation we did yesterday, but communication is key if we want it to work. Pushing my feelings aside isn’t good. We both talked about our thoughts and feelings on it, and we negotiated the solution that works for both of us.”
“Communication is key. Joe and I established a rule very early in our relationship. Between running the farm and wanting to start a bed-and-breakfast, we wanted to make sure we prioritized ourselves. So every Sunday morning, we would talkover any meal that day when the guests were out and about, but if it was important, we never let it sit until the weekend. It’s important to find what works for you, and you guys are discovering your footing just fine.”
“Yeah, I think we’re doing pretty good too,” I say as we work together in silence.
Ann finishes working on the bread, and I start to prep dinner. I can’t stop thinking about what she said.
Do I love Noah? Does Noah love me? Do I say it first? How does this get brought up?
I give my head a quick shake and file this away to think about later because the day is getting away from me. Thankfully, Ann switches the topic to a much lighter one, asking if Jess is ready to start school officially. I tell her that she seems excited and is on track and mostly caught up to her peers. I also tell her about how we’re going to one of the big stores in the next town over soon to do all the school shopping.
I place the last prep dish in the fridge and tell Ann that I’m going to do a quick walk-through of the cabins that will be rented out this weekend to make sure they’re fully stocked and ready for our guests.
I peek at Jess and check my watch. “I’m running to the cabins to check on them. I’ll be back in a half hour, and we can meet up with Joe since he hasn’t come in yet. Deal?”
She looks up and pastes on a smile. “Yeah, I’ll be ready.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m, uh, just really into my book,” she says, fiddling with the pages.
“Okay. I’ll be right back.”
She nods and looks back down at her book.
Little alarm bells start to go off in my head.
Why do I feel like I’m missing something?
