Page 38 of Stay With Me
“Sorry. I just want to get everything clean before I take off for the night.”
“Want to talk about what’s bothering you while we make some bread?” she asks, gathering what she needs.
She doesn’t do this often, but she knows when I’m overthinking something and gives me a task that I don’t have to think too hard about.
Ann works to measure everything out as she starts to make sandwich bread in silence.
When she starts adding the flour, I blurt out, “Noah and I have a date tonight, and I’m nervous.”
“What are you nervous about?”
“I don’t know.” I throw my arms up before handing her the sourdough starter we keep on the counter.
“Do you think Noah will do something you don’t like? Or will make you feel uncomfortable?”
“What?! No! He would never do that,” I quickly say, feeling defensive that she would even think about asking that. Noah is one of the kindest people I have met since leaving The Family.
“Oh, I know that, dear. I’ve known him since he was a young child. He’s always been a great person. I just wanted to make sure you knew that,” she says with a smile and nods at the dough for me to take over mixing everything.
“I mean, he took in Jess without questions and has let both of us stay with him. He’s patient and kind. I don’t know if I could have gotten this far with Jess without him,” I tell her as I start to knead the dough rougher than necessary.
She pulls up a stool next to me. “Of course, you would have. It wouldn’t have been easy, but even without him, you wouldn’t have been alone. Joe and I would have helped you however we could, just like we’re doing now. The difference between him helping you and us is that you’re still here instead of running toanother state with Jess.” She leans around me to look me in the eye.
I freeze, turning to her. “How…”
“How do I know you’ve been waiting for a reason to leave, and your sister coming to town would have been the perfect excuse?” She lifts a brow.
I just nod at her. I didn’t think anyone realized I was trying to find the courage to leave the only people I truly felt were family.
“I’ve seen your cabin when you’ve had Joe and I over for dinner. The only things in that cabin that are yours are things you’ve bought here in town. And when we were upgrading all the beds, I was helping you make your new one, and I saw your suitcase, flipped open with all the clothes still packed in there,” she says.
I think about that day. I didn’t think she saw it, but I remember the closet wasn’t closed all the way. I was embarrassed she might have seen it, but she never said anything, so I thought I got lucky.
She’s right, though. If Noah hadn’t stepped in to be Jess’s emergency foster, Jess and I would have been long gone because I wouldn’t have let her go to anyone I didn’t know, and leaving would have been the best option.
“Don’t look sad, Luna. I understand where your thought process would have been. It would have hurt to watch you go, but I would have understood and respected your choice even if I didn’t agree with it. We would have also helped you run if that is what you truly wanted,” she says as she covers the bread to rest. “I know we don’t know a lot about your past or how you got here. But Joe and I look at you like a daughter. I won’t push because I know you’ll tell us when you’re ready, but we support you and love you. You just let us know how you need our help.”
Tears sting my eyes. I knew my mother, but we didn’t have a bond because that wasn’t how The Family was set up, butin my mind, Joe and Ann are my parents. I truly believe that everything I went through brought me here when I needed it most.
“I want to tell you, but I don’t want you to think badly of me,” I whisper.
“Whatever you did, you did because you had to. Maybe we can plan a lunch date one day, and you can tell us everything. That way, you only have to tell us once.”
“Yeah, I would like that.”
“Now, what does your young man have planned for tonight?” she asks as she stands to check the bread.
“Well, all I know is we’re going to have a picnic for dinner and then watch a movie.” I shrug.
“I’m going to ask you this because I’m guessing no one ever has. Has anyone talked to you about safe sex?” she casually asks.
“Ann!” I say and cover my face.
“Hey, it’s a valid question. Safe sex is important. Joe and I were young once, too, you know.” A small smile pulls at her lips.
“The only thing I was told growing up was when I had my first period. An elder woman sat me down and told me I was a woman and that it was my duty to serve my chosen husband in bed, in any capacity he wished,” I say. But thinking back, I was so confused, afraid, and unsure of what any of that meant. “But I read romance books. Does that count?”
“I should say I’m shocked, but from the little I do know, I’m not. While the books can count for something, let’s have a conversation. You can ask me anything, and I’ll answer you to the best of my ability,” she says.
