Page 118 of Love Undecided
Ohmigod. Does he have a split personality?
“Are you... ” I start. “Am I speaking to Ronald now?”
“You are. I am Ronald,” Gil/Ronald says. “Gil’s protector. I help him when a situation gets too tough for him to handle in an emotionally effective way. I am happy to answer any questions you may have about the abductions, the cameras, and the pictures. However, you should know that I am not the one who abducted the girls, nor did I take the pictures. Further, I am not attracted to underage females. I prefer a mature woman who is a little rough around the edges, someone who doesn’t mind getting dirty. Someone like you.”
I’m a little shocked by that.
“Are you saying I’m—” I stop myself from saying anything more. I don’t want to egg him on. I take a deep breath and try another tactic.
“If you are not our perpetrator, what makes you think you can help us?” I ask him.
“I know everything Gil does. He doesn’t always know that I know, but I do. I’m omniscient in our body. There is no way to envision the atrocities Gil suffered as a child. In order to understand, one would have to have lived it because the human brain can’t process that kind of information, or endure it, without protecting itself. By shutting down. Splitting apart,” Ronald says.
“You say Gil suffered these things, yet you share the same body and the same mind, how is it that you did not suffer the same?” I ask him.
“I stepped in to protect Gil. Gil is weak, everything affects him, everything that touches him has a lasting impact. I have no feelings. And with no feelings comes the inability to be affected. There have been very few times where Gil is strong enough to do something without my knowledge.”
“Like when he kidnapped the first girl?” I ask.
“Yes. But it wasn’t long before I knew and confronted him,” Ronald says.
“How long?” I ask.
“Maybe a week, not much longer. He doesn’t have the ability to lock me out for longer than that.”
“Lock you out?” I ask.
“Yes, prevent me from taking over. As I’ve said before, I am the stronger of us two,” Ronald says.
“Are there any more of you?” I ask.
“No,” Ronald says.
“How can you be sure?”
“I’m sure.” Ronald sits back in his chair and attempts a position of relaxed confidence.
“Why did Gil plant the cameras in the girls’ rooms?” I ask.
“To watch them,” Ronald replies.
“Why didn’t you stop him from doing that?”
“I wanted to see how far he would take it,” Ronald says.
“Why did he put a camera on my deck?”
“You intrigue us in a way like no adult woman has since mother. But in different ways, and for different reasons. Gil, because he thought you could save him. Me, because I wanted to fuck you.”
He pauses and tilts his head to the left, his eyes shift up to the right as though he’s trying to recall something.
“We’d been following you in person for a while, but it wasn’t enough. We wanted to be able to watch you, to feel close to you, at any time. Like Gil does with the girls,” he says.
“Like Gil did with the girls,” I correct him. “Why didn’t you stop him?”
“It’s my job to protect him, not monitor him. This was the first time that he made it so personal. In the past he has just used pictures that he has found to satisfy himself. And when the urges got too strong, he used a castration medication. But I have to admit that is not my favorite, for selfish reasons.
“This was the first time that he picked specific girls and went so far as to watch them on camera, track them, and then take them. The strength and control and planning that took was a heady experience to watch.” Ronald has a look of almost awe on his face.
