Page 122 of Love Undecided
Me: Yes, I’m mad at you.
Brad: What did I do?
Me: Seriously? You’re trying to dictate my actions and tell me what to do. Like some kind of dictator micro-manager.
Brad: I think you’re exaggerating just a bit. Especially with all the ‘dictating’ you seem to think is going on. I don’t like it when you put yourself in danger unnecessarily, and that’s never going to change. What you did was selfish and inconsiderate and you didn’t give my wants or needs any thought when you made that decision.
Me: Well, you knew what you were getting into before you jumped back in.
Brad: What’s that supposed to mean?
Me: I am who I am and THAT’S never going to change. I’m going to do what I think is right when I need to, even if you don’t like it.
Brad: And how I feel means nothing?
Me: Well, when you say it like that it sounds really bad.
Brad: Kat - you’re saying you don’t care about your own safety. And worse, you don’t care that I care about your safety.
Brad: I get your need to be reckless at times. Hell, I even support some of it. But, goddammit, don’t put me in a position where I have to watch you purposefully risk your life. Not when we already know your time may be limited as it is. Your safety comes before all else. Just please give me this one thing. Please.
And just like that it hits me. This is my guy. Not only do I need him, but I deserve him. He’s it for me and there is no one else. Really, there never has been. I couldn’t be luckier than to have him as mine.
Me: Holy shit. I’m such an asshole. I’m so sorry.
Brad: There’s no reason to apologize.
Me: Yes there is. I’m so lucky to have you.
Brad: Well, I can’t argue with that.
Me: Wow, full of yourself much?
Brad: I’ll show you something full.
Me: Was that supposed to be a sex innuendo/joke?
Brad: Only if you found it funny and me irresistibly appealing.
Me: I think it fell a little flat. But, I will say this - thank you for sticking with me, even though I’m a pain in the ass, basket case sometimes.
Brad: Sometimes?
Me: haha
Me: Notice there are no exclamations points. They are sarcastic ha’s in case you didn’t notice.
Brad: Noted.
Me: I love you. Be safe. Thank you for caring about me.
Brad: Always. Have fun, tell the girls hi from me. I love you.
We eat our food, order another round, tease Remi about sexting with Alex last night, and give Lexie a hard time about agreeing to do a wine event with her ex, Trevor.
All in all, it’s just like nothing has changed in my life.
Yet everything has changed.
