Page 44 of Love Undecided
Chapter 19
Brad
Ethan and I meet up at the bar after our on-call shift.The Recovery Roomis our favorite place, not to mention it’s one of the only places in San Soloman that is still a real bar with no ridiculous theme or gimmick. You can get good food, pitchers of beer, play pool, throw darts, and catch the game on a big screen.
New owners took it over a couple years ago and revamped the entire inside, leaving the dive bar feel, but getting rid of the years of dirt and grime from the actual dive part of the previous bar. They refinished the bar top and floors, brought in all new booths, tables, and stools, added a digital jukebox, remodeled the bathrooms, expanded the ladies room. It was a smart move on the new owner’s part, business has more than doubled since they reopened.
Ethan and I play a few games of pool, then grab some food and catch the end of a college game on the big screen. He turns to look at me.
“How’d it go earlier with Kat?”
I shake my head.
“She’s working with that fucking guy and it kind of drives me crazy. I did give them a tip on the case they’re working on though. Remember all those houses with the showers left on? That’s what they are doing. The idiot hadn’t even noticed that all the houses have kids. What kind of fucking detective is he?”
“Hey, don’t be so harsh, man. If you were the only one that noticed, that means Kat didn’t either.”
“She’s not a detective. And she had a fucking brain tumor, E. I don’t expect her to be operating at full brain capacity. And don’t defend him, man. My friend, my side.”
“Sorry, bro. My bad,” Ethan says. “You doing okay, after seeing her and stuff?”
“No. And I’m about at my limit. Not to sound like a pussy, but I miss her man.”
He nods his head and gives me a sympathetic look, “I get it,” he says. “And you definitely sound like a pussy, but, I get it.”
I flip him off.
He laughs. “You know you still don’t do that right.”
“Fuck off,” I say.
“Here, look,” he says as he tries to demonstrate how to give someone the finger.
It’s not that I don’t know how to flip someone off, it’s just that my fingers look awkward doing it. It's like all the side fingers, and my thumb, don’t want to bend correctly at the knuckles and so I end up with one straight finger, and four partially bent fingers. It makes Ethan laugh every time.
I flip him off with my other hand which sends him into near hysterics. My other hand isn’t much better at it. And I've practiced it too, in front of the mirror, just to see how it looks.
The answer is: awkward.
It just looks awkward. Always.
Ethan excuses himself to use the restroom and I refrain from practicing more and focus instead on the post-game wrap-up on TV.
Ethan returns to the table. “Ready for another round?” he asks.
Suddenly feeling extremely tired, I run my hands over my face. “I hate to say it, dude, but I’m going to call it a night,” I say. “After that burger and the beers, I am ready to crash on my couch and not get up for days.”
I stand and throw a few twenties on the table. “That should cover my part.”
“I got you. Later, man,” he says.
As I near the front door, I turn back to ask him if we are on for the gym in the morning, but I see that he’s already talking to a couple girls at the bar. Man, that guy works fast!
The Recovery Roomis on the opposite corner asLovestone, at a four-way intersection. A convenience store and a coffee shop round out the remaining corners. As I am getting in my car, I look for Kat atLovestoneout of habit since she stops there on her way home a few times a week. And am not surprised to see her leaving with Lexie and Remi. I lean against the car and watch them walk down the street, away from me.
She looks beautiful, as usual, throwing her head back and laughing at something Lexie has just said. My heart squeezes in my chest. It’s hard to be so close to someone, yet still so far away. I’m tempted to call out to her, but I don’t. I just watch them all walk to their cars. When she stops to get in her car, she pauses for just a second and looks my way. My breath catches, and I wait for something to show that she sees me, but she doesn’t. I watch her drive away before getting into my own car to head home, knowing I will probably text her later to say goodnight.
