Page 95 of Love Undecided
I look up as someone sits down beside me, hoping that somehow it’s Kat. It’s not. Lexie settles in the sand beside me and rests her head on my shoulder. “I thought I recognized the back of that head,” she says smiling up at me.
“Hey Lexie-loon,” I say. “What are you doing out here?”
“Oh, you know,” she says as she waves her hand aimlessly in the air.
“Did you see Kat?” I can’t help asking.
“Yes,” she says. “How’re you doing?”
“So you know what happened?”
“Well, I know her version of what happened, yes.”
“Where is she?”
“I know you want to make this right, but I think it’s best that you don’t see her right now. She’s not right in her head, and I think it would make things worse. She feels awful for what Stacy saw.”
“Stacy and I broke up,” I tell her.
“Before the kiss?” she asks.
“No.” I hang my head in partial shame and anger.
“Why don’t you give her a call in the morning. Give her the night to kind of calm down and see things a little more coherently. She’s with Remi right now, and there’s no one better with helping you see things clearly and pragmatically than Rem.”
I hesitate before speaking again. “When given the choice, do you think she’s capable of choosing happy?”
Lexie raises her head from my shoulder and nods it slowly in thought; she knows what I’m talking about. We’ve had this discussion about Kat before, that she seems to be punishing herself for getting cancer, and she can’t bear to let herself be happy as a result.
She turns toward me. “I do. I think she wants to very much. I also think she truly believes that she is saving you from yourself and it creates an emotional war inside of her and so far the unhappy side is winning.”
I snort out a laugh, feeling very cynical all the sudden. “How does that help me exactly?”
Lexie smiles at me and lays a hand on my shoulder where her head just was.
“Dating someone on the opposite end of the happy spectrum teaches you an incredible amount of patience,” she says.
I smile at her. “Thank you, oh wise one.”
“I can’t take the credit,” she says. “That’s what Chris Pine said when he broke up with thatSports Illustratedmodel. But it is really good advice.” She shrugs her shoulders and smiles at me. “I’m good at reciting really good advice from other people.”
I always forget just how pretty Lexie is, especially with the pink hair, it gives her an edge that her natural blonde doesn’t. When she’s blonde she’s cute. But with the pink hair, she reminds me of a blue-eyed Sydney Bristow fromAlias, Season One. Total badass, combined with a bubbly personality, and a heart of gold.
“You know, one of these days,” I say to her. “There’s going to be a guy that you can’t let go of, and that can’t let go of you, and he’s going to be the luckiest guy in the world.” I reach up and smooth her hair behind her ear.
She smiles big at me. “Thanks B! This is why I love you!”
“Back at ya, Lex,” I say, smiling softly.
“You gonna be okay?” she asks.
“I’m good. I’ll hit the gym on the way home and work some shit out, then maybe hit up Ethan and see if he wants to grab a beer. Don’t worry about me.”
She stands and looks down at me. “Ok, well if you need anything just know that I straddle the line between you two, and I always will. But right now, I’ve got to get back to the winery.”
“Thanks for the talk. Have a good night, Lexie.”
“You too!” She waves over her head as she trots away.
I immediately feel lonely again.
