Page 97 of Love Undecided
Chapter 44
Kat
We arrive atThe Crazy Burroand I’m happy to see that our regular waitress is working. She seats us in our regular spot. “Two margaritas, ladies? Or will you also need a third?”
“Just two,” I say quickly before Remi can say otherwise and insist I don’t need one. Margaritas make me happy. And so do chips and salsa. And right now I want to be happy.
"No margaritas," Remi says. “Just water and coffee, please." Remi looks at me, eyebrows raised.
“Hair of the dog,” I mumble. “Don’t judge.”
“I don’t judge, I just worry. And it's only hair of the dog when you’re hungover, not when you're still drunk.”
“I’m fine,” I tell her.
After we get our drinks and chips and salsa, I realize I’m still hungry, probably because Lexie ate most of my burger and fries. Since Remi didn’t eat at the bar, we both order dinner. We don’t talk about Brad again during dinner, which I am grateful for. It’s been an emotionally exhausting day, and I’m just ready to relax a bit. Remi keeps checking her phone and texting someone.
“Who do you keep texting?” I ask her.
“No one,” she says, looking a little guilty.
“You better not be telling Alex about me,” I tell her. Amazed that she would be doing that while I’m sitting here. Not only that but with someone she’s not even sleeping with or serious about.
"You know that does not penetrate the friendship bond. You only get to tell people that you are consistently fucking everything that happens with your friends. And only if they are the only people you are consistently fucking. Definitely not guys you are just dating,” I say.
“No,” she says. “I’m not telling anyone anything. Just chill out and drink some more coffee."
I do as she says and am starting to feel better between the food, the water, and the coffee. She looks up, and whatever she sees behind me obviously surprises her a little bit. I go to turn around when suddenly I’m grabbed by the arm, pulled out of my chair, and dragged toward the rear exit of the restaurant. I look up and see that it’s Brad who has my arm. I look back at Remi.
“I’ve got your purse,” she says. “Just remember I love you!”
Next thing I know we are outside and he’s got me pushed against a wall in the back alley, and he’s kissing me. And I’m kissing him. And I’m loving it.
Until I remember Stacy.
“Wait,” I mumble against his lips. “What about Stacy?”
He raises his head and looks at me, taking my head between his two hands, gently stroking my cheekbones with his thumbs. “You are the one I love. The one I want to be with, Kat. The only one. Stacy and I are over, we broke up this afternoon. I should have done it sooner, I was just being stupid, and I’m so sorry for that.
"Remi said you aren't involved with Bauer. That's true, right? You don't have feelings for him?" he asks me.
"Bauer? No. I can't be involved with anyone, you know that."
"Anyone other than me," he says.
I stand there a minute, trying to gauge my mood. I'm in his arms. I feel safe and protected. And right. It's the right place for me to be, cancer or no cancer.
He kisses me lightly, then continues, “I know you’re afraid, I am too. But we can do this. We are stronger together. I won’t ever be stupid again. You are it for me. And I know that you feel the same way. We belong together. And if I have to take you to bed and keep you there until you agree, that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
I look up at him and get totally lost in his eyes; reveling in the feeling of my face in his hands, and his thumbs stroking my cheeks. I’ve hardly digested what he’s actually said before he’s kissing me again, and I’m kissing him back.
“Wait.” I pull away from him again, barely getting my senses back. “Are you sure? What if we can’t... “ But even I know my argument is weak and I don't really mean it.
“Can’t what?” he asks. “Can’t love each other? Can’t be together? Can’t take care of one another? Bullshit, Kat! You are mine and I plan to take care of you until the day one of us dies. And, yes it will probably be you before me. And yes I will take care of you when you are sick.
"And yes, it reminds me of my mom, and that sucks. But it doesn't change how I feel about you. I will put you on a pedestal, and I will put your needs before mine, and I will treat you with reverence. Because you are that incredible and you deserved to be revered. I don’t care what happens, I’m not leaving you again, and I sure as hell am not letting you leave me.”
He grabs my hand and pulls me farther into the back alley where no one can see us.
