Page 21 of Love Unavoidable
Chapter 5
sadie
I see a bright light in the distance.
I want to walk toward it, have the experience that others have reported when they die. But it’s not an option here. The light isn’t beckoning me in the way I would’ve imagined. Not that I have thought about death a lot. Because it’s scary and permanent and there is no going back once you do it. That level of commitment alone is terrifying, never mind anything else that might be scary about dying.
Like drowning. Or suffocating. Or being tortured to death.
The light moves back and forth, then disappears.
All right, so maybe I have thought about it a fair amount.
In my death, I don’t get the benefit of the bright light. No invitation to the great beyond where everything is puppies and kitties with rainbows and unicorns. Except I would want all the puppies and kitties to be housebroken, and all the rainbows and unicorns to be universally accepted and loved.
So, clearly, it’s really a place that doesn’t exist.
I laugh at myself and my absurd close to death wishes.
I think I laugh anyway. I hear nothing.
The light is back, but on the other side of me this time. Moving back and forth, to the left, then gone. To the right, then gone. I want to walk toward it, but it won’t stay in one place. If I’m dead, my parents will be really pissed. I hate when they are mad at me. It makes everything so damn . . . difficult. If the bright light would stay, I could walk toward it and they’d be happy. ‘Cause we all know that death ain’t a part of Mama and Daddy’s plan for me.
“Sadie?” I hear a voice talking. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”
“God?” I ask, unsure if I want to know the answer.
“Not quite,” the same voice chuckles. Everything around me brightens until I’m immersed in the dense white light.
“Am I dead?” I ask. I try to open my eyes.
A fuzzy head smiles and laughs softly. “No, not yet anyway. You took quite a tumble though and the bump to your head is no laughing matter.”
He keeps talking as he pokes and prods my head and body. “Can you tell me your name?”
Okay, apparently, I am alive.
And awake.
In the hospital.
With a doctor breathing in my face.
“Sadie Ann Mason.”
“Do you know what day it is, Sadie?”
“Saturday, May twelfth. My cousin Cole is getting married today. Or actually got married today.”
“Ah, so he would be the one dressed as a groom in the waiting room?”
“Probably, yes,” I laugh, then try to sit up. The doctor helps by raising the bed. I look around as he does. I’m in a room with no other beds, surrounded by machines at the wall near my head. A window in the wall to my right, along with a chair and small table. Straight ahead is a TV and another doorway to what I assume is the restroom. The wall to my left is a long counter, with windows facing the hallway, and the doorway into the room. It’s comfortable looking for a hospital room.
“You have quite a crowd gathered out there.”
“Oh no. It’s so embarrassing. I fell at the wedding. Though in my defense, I did have a lot to drink.”
“That will be your defense?” he chuckles.
