Page 130 of I Heart Mason Cartwright
“Like how?”
“We’re more direct. There’s no subterfuge like with you hetero men.”
“I don’t use subterfuge.”
“Of course you do, you all do.”
“All men who like women?”
“All heterosexuals period. Men and women. It’s all you do with your touched-up profile pictures and exaggerated occupations, fake hobbies and changed names.”
“And gay guys don’t lie on their profiles?”
“No. We don’t.”
“Huh.” That surprises me.
“We useGrinder. To hook up. That’s it. I see a guy is a mile away, he’s a bear who’s into twinks, but likes to be a bottom. Boom. I hit him up. Few minutes later we are both getting off in exactly the way we want and anticipated.”
“Interesting.”
“Jealous?”
“No.” I scoff. “Well, maybe. It just seems so simple.”
“It is.”
“So, stuff like this never happens in a gay relationship?”
“Who said anything about a relationship? I’m talking about fucking. If we switch to talking about relationships, it’s a whole different story. Gays are DRAMA with a capital everything.”
I laugh again. “Okay, okay. I get it.” I pause for a minute before asking another question, “How come you’re not in a relationship, Zach?”
“Did you not just hear me?” he asks. “Gays are drama. And I am a queen.”
I gasp and feign shock. “I can’t believe you would be dramatic.”
“Fuck off, dude.” He pauses, then continues, “I’ll be honest, at this point in my life, I don’t believe in them. Mostly because I would want a relationship to be monogamous.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” I say.
“Except that I don’t believe it’s possible to be monogamous.”
“I’m monogamous with Willow.”
“For now.”
“No, not just for now. Forever. Anything that I might benefit from by cheating would not be worth risking losing her over.”
“Okay, Mister Ray of Sunshine, let me rephrase. I can’t be monogamous.”
“That’s different.”
“Yes. I can’t expect fidelity from a partner I’m not willing to be faithful to.”
“How do you know you can’t be faithful to someone if you haven’t yet met the someone you’re willing to be faithful to?”
Zach yawns. “I’m going to pretend that question makes sense while I lay my head on your shoulder. I’m not hitting on you, stud-mc-muffin, just tired.”
