Page 93 of Love Resurrected
“It sounded better in my head.” I laugh.
“So, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I thought about calling him. But I don’t want to chase him. And not in thatoh, girls can’t make the first movebullshit way. But, more like he needs to figure out what the fuck he wants, and I don’t want to make it easy on him kind of way.”
“Give him time, Ten,” a deep voice says from beyond the screen.
My eyes close and my face heats.
“Ethan?” I ask.
“Sorry,” Sadie says. “He came back in with coffee when you were mid-story. I didn’t want to interrupt you.”
It pissed me off Ethan heard whatever he did, especially when Brad is his best friend. But part of me knows this is how it is now. Ethan is a part of Sadie is a part of Ethan, right? There is no telling her without telling him.
“Hey, E? Can we keep this between us? Cone of silence?”
He comes into view as Sadie turns the camera toward him. “I hear nothing. I say nothing. Think of me as the Chinese Wall between you two and Brad.”
“Thank you.”
He winks, and the camera turns back to Sadie and the baby.
“So,” I say to Sadie.
“Did you text him?” she asks.
I shake my head.
“Have you talked to him?” she asks Ethan.
“Uh, Chinese Wall works both ways, gorgeous.” I hear him reply. Sadie rolls her eyes at that.
“Maybe Ethan is right, and you just need to give him time.”
“Is it wrong that I just want to be out of limbo? Either know that there’s nothing that will happen between us and let it die. Or move forward.”
“Nothing wrong with that at all. I would feel the same way.”
“Thanks, Sadie-Sue.”
“Love you, Ten.”
“Love you more.” I disconnect the call and resume pacing and talking to myself. I’m on the proverbial ledge, and now one of two things need to happen. Either I take control and decide. Or he does.
Somehow that conclusion doesn’t seem helpful at all.
34
Brad
I did it to her again. I took off on Tenley after sex. I couldn’t help it. I tried to go to sleep after. I tried to relax. I tried to listen to all the voices in my head approving my decision. Hold her in my arms, do that thing couples do. Not that we’re a couple. I don’t think. But, I couldn’t. So, I left, and drove straight to Remi’s. When she started to become my voice of reason, I’ll never know. But somehow, she’s the one I feel most comfortable talking about this with. Maybe because she understands the guilt of living after Kat’s passing.
“Just so you know—” Remi sets down two cups of coffee and takes a seat across from me at her kitchen table—“you’re probably the only person I would let interrupt my new-foundme-time.”
“It is quiet. Where’s the brood?”
“Breakfast with Daddy. It’s a new thing they all do together on Chance’s mornings off, and Iloveit.” She smiles.
