Page 94 of Love Resurrected
I take a deep breath and jump right in. “I had sex.”
Remi looks at me, her face blank. She takes a slow sip of her coffee, then surprises me by saying, “Anyone I know?”
“Tenley.”
“Last night?”
“And a few nights ago as well. That time was just the once. In the bathroom at The Crazy Burro. Then last night in my truck. And a few times again at her house.”
She nods her head, but stays silent, not meeting my gaze. I wonder if I made a mistake in coming here. Maybe she doesn’t understand.
“You okay?” she finally asks.
“No. That’s why I’m here.”
She nods. Again.
This is stupid. I push my chair back and stand. “I’m going to go. I’m sorry I ruined your ‘me-time.’”
“What? No. Why? Sit down.” Her voice is harsh and firm. “I’m just thinking.”
I sit, somehow feeling reprimanded.
“I think it’s good that you are trying to move on. It’s what Kat wanted.”
“But?”
“Nobut, just that.”
“There’s abutin your tone, Remi.”
“There’s not.”
I stare at her.
“Fine. There is,” she concedes. “But I don’t know why, so I can’t be expected to explain it to you.”
She picks at something stuck on the tabletop and mumbles, “The cleaning lady sucks at wiping down the table.”
I wait, hoping she’ll explain what she’s feeling since I’m thinking that holds the answer to this entire dilemma.
“I love you like a brother. You know that. Kat was my soul-sister. And by that, I mean she’s part of my fucking soul. I’ve never been agirlperson, but something about that broad just clicked with me and I’ve never felt so close, so connected, with another person. Not even Chance.” She tears up while I try not to. “I miss her every fucking day, Brad.”
“Me too.”
“I want you to be happy. I want that for you and for Kat. It’s what she wanted, so it’s what I want. Out of respect and love for her memory. But I have to admit, there’s a part of me that feels cheated.” She sniffles and wipes at her nose with her hand. “God, can I use the wordwantany more in a sentence?” Then she grabs a tissue to dab at her eyes. “You get to move on with a new Kat. You know, a new partner. But I don’t get a new best friend. I don’t get a replacement Kat. Tenley won’t fill that role, that void, for me like she will you. And I’m jealous. And pissed. I’m sorry, but I am.”
I can’t explain why, but a huge part of me feels relieved when she says that.
“I get it.”
“How can you possibly get it?” She sobs, blowing her nose.
“I don’t know, but I do. I would feel the same way.”
She pulls the tissue from her face, her nose bright red. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I don’t know how this got to be about her and not me, but it did. And I think I’m okay with that. Remi excuses herself to fix her makeup.
