Page 14 of Love Off the Rocks
“Before we get to the pizza making and the beer, we’re going to do introductions.”
Another collective groan sounds through the room. Any more of those and I’m going to start to feel like I’m losing at this whole management thing.
“I know everyone hates introducing themselves, so you won’t have to. You’ll be introducing the person next to you. Nancy is coming back around now to count you off into pairs. You’ve got five minutes to learn three things about each other to share with the group. And make sure what you share is safe for public consumption.”
Mags gets paired with Brittni. She doesn’t look happy. Somehow, I’m paired with the guy who’d been sitting next to Mags on the couch.
Chaz.
“So, you’re the new head amigo, huh?” he asks first thing.
“Devlin McGuire, nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand, but he’s reluctant to take it.
“Are we allowed to just, like, shake hands?”
I wait to see if he’s kidding. Making a manager/employee joke.
Apparently not.
“Yes,” I tell him. “In fact, it’s encouraged.”
He shakes my hand, letting me know he’s in the IT department and is ready to take care of any technology issues we may have.
“It’s a technology-free weekend,” I remind him.
“I know,” he says. “Weird right?”
“Tell me a little bit about you, Chaz.”
“Well, first,” he leans in close. “I need to know, how are the Betties on the East Coast anyway? You know, man to man. Anyone lookin’ for a little afternoon delight?”
My head rears. I’m surprised at both his candor and idiocy. “I’m not sure that’s appropriate. While we don’t specifically prohibit employee fraternization, it’s not encouraged either. I’m not going to help you single out someone on my staff to sleep with.”
“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds kinda bad, you know. Hey, did I mention I’m in a band?”
“Oh, what do you do? Or play?”
“Drummer.” His chest puffs out. “Sometimes I sing too.”
“What kind of music?”
“Rock mostly. We do some covers of Faux Fisted that’ll blow your mind, man.”
Not being a Faux Fisted fan, I change the subject. “So, what led you to the company?”
“I was working for a major electronics store chain, can’t mention any names. You know how it is, seeing as they went out of business and all. I’m sure if you think about it though, you can figure out who it was. I was tech support in the store. You know, people could bring in their computers and stuff and we’d help them fix it. That gig ended with the whole out-of-business thing, and now I’m here.”
I open my mouth to reply, but he keeps talking.
“I got a girl I’m interested in. She’s in marketing. I’m gonna plant the seeds while we’re here, you know, for a little one-on-one consummation.”
I nod as though I understand. I’m assuming he’s talking about sex. But I’m not going to clarify.
He continues, “We sat together on the train ride up. I let her know that I’d be cruising for chicks here. But if I do, that’s just to sow my oats, you know? Get it all out of my system before I settle down for good.”
I respond despite my better judgment. “You told the woman you want to pursue that you’re going after other girls on this trip. That’s your plan to courtship?”
“Court what? No man, I’m making her jealous. Chicks only love what other chicks love. That’s what makes the world go ‘round.”
