Page 68 of Summer with My Sexy Ex
“Help yourself,” I say unnecessarily. Blake already knows he’s welcome to anything at my house.
We sit silently, drinking our beers, pondering whatever floats through our heads, listening to the crickets and frogs, and watching the pool water ripple in the evening breeze. It would be a great night if I weren’t constantly thinking about Bristol. And wondering if I do love her, or if it’s infatuation. Was it just because the sex was amazing? Or was it more?
“When I realized she had left this morning after returning to the hotel room, my first thought was that I missed her. My second was, what the fuck, Bristol? I can’t believe you’re running scared. But my first was definitely that I missed her. Her laugh. Her smile. Her scent. Her hair. The way she saysDammitwhenever she’s upset. How quickly she comes when I touch her. The way her body reacts when I say she’s a good girl.
“How she holds her beer bottle by crooking her index finger around the neck instead of gripping it at the base like everyone else. The conviction she feels when she makes a decision. Unless that decision is to leave me. Gotta say I don’t agree with that one. The way her face lights up when she smells coffee first thing in the morning. How she says hello to hotel staff when we pass them.
“Or random people on the street who seem friendly. Her excitement over meeting Fauxley Quinn. That she’s quick on her feet with thinking and her actions, she’s seemingly fearless but secretly afraid of random innocuous things. The way she gave shit back to Amy when Amy was giving it to her.”
“That’s a lot to like about a girl,” Blake says.
I didn’t realize I was talking aloud.
“I could have gone without knowing thatgood girlshit or that my sister orgasms, let alone the speed with which it happens, but it’s a lot nonetheless.”
He’s right. “Sorry, man.”
He waves a hand in the air dismissing it. “So I ask again,” he says. “What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing I can do. You can’t keep something that doesn’t want to be kept.”
“So, you want to keep her,” Blake confirms.
“Fuck yes, I want to keep her.”
“Well, I think that’s all you need to know.”
“How is that all I need to know? I knew that already.”
“Not to get all self-help section on you, but you can’t control Brie. Youcancontrol yourself and how you feel. If you nail that down, at least you won’t have your confusion about how you feel to worry about. So, now it’s just her and what to do about that.”
“Which is nothing,” I say. “I already determined that.”
“Exactly. You’re going to do nothing to get back the woman you want to keep.”
“Right.” I pause. “Don’t say it like that.”
“Say it like what?” he asks.
“Like I’m giving up. Not doing anything.”
“Aren’t you?”
“She doesn’t want me, Blake. Haven’t you been listening?” I let my voice rise. I’m pissed about her leaving, about me wanting her, about her not wanting me, about her leaving before our sixty hours were up. Misha whimpers and head-butts my knee. “It’s okay, girl.” I pet her head and rub her ears. “I’m not mad at you. It’s all other women. But never you.” She seems satisfied with that, circles a few times, and lies down with a sigh at my feet.
“Want to switch to whiskey?” Blake asks.
“God, yes.”
Which is how Blake and I solve absolutely nothing about anything that might be bothering either one of us. And end up stupid drunk.
bristol – twenty-two days later
“This is Cassidy Cole,and you’ve been listening to Felony Fanatic. Tune in next week to explore more real-life crimes using evidence, theories, and suspects to uncover the truth that lurks beneath the surface.”
I sign off on this week’s podcast, take my headphones off, and send the file to my sound editor. This week was about a woman who disappeared from a public park in broad daylight, and no one remembers seeing or hearing a thing.
“That was awesome, yet again,” Darby says when I emerge from the sound booth and back into our office. Darby and I rent a three-bedroom condominium in the downtown section of Santa Luna. We turned a large walk-in closet into a sound booth and converted a bedroom into our office. It works well for us for now.
