Page 54 of A Lab Rat's Guide to Fated Love
The darn fruit again.
She pulled out a stool from under the counter and took a seat. She had no clue how she was going to deal with the jumbled mess of her own feelings, but she knew for a fact that Vir’s infatuation wasn’t going to last. Not if he knew.
“Um,” she began. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. That was highly inappropriate of me.”
Her gaze lowered to the slab of black granite in front of her. The scattering of golden-brown chips in it strangely reminded her of the late afternoon sun reflected in Vir’s eyes.
She redirected her focus from the dumb counter to her tightly clenched fists in her lap.
“I didn’t want to lead you on. I’m sorry,” she continued, when he didn’t answer. “It’s just infatuation, anyway. It’ll pass. Trust me, it’s better this way.”You’re better off without me.
A lump rose in her throat, growing bigger and more painful, the harder she tried to keep herself composed. If she were to be honest, really, truly honest, shedidn’twant to say any of those things to him.
She wanted to do the exact opposite and ask him to hold on to her. She wanted him to tell her, over and over and over, till she started believing it, too. That she wasn’t a damaged piece of trash. That she wasn’t so broken, she was unlovable by anyone except her cat.
Glass scraped over granite as Vir slid the plate of guava slices towards her.
“Eat, please.”
Her eyes lifted, and the sight of the fruit made her chin quiver. She bit off a slice, chewed, swallowed, then sat motionless, glowering down at nothing as moisture blurred her vision.
Vir sighed. “We need to talk, but after you’re done eating.” When she didn’t move, he added, “I’d finish the rest, but I’m allergic to guava.”
“What?” She looked up in alarm. “Why didn’t you say anything before? You keep cutting these all the time!”
“It’s fine.” He shrugged. “I can cut them. Just not supposed to eat any. And you like them, so… Eat, please.”
She wanted to launch herself off the stool and run far away, so she wouldn’t be able to cling on to him as if her life depended on it. Because it didn’t. It shouldn’t. She needed to get a grip on herself and stop being ridiculous.
She kept popping guava slices into her mouth, one after the other, till her plate was empty. Vir cleared it away before circling around the counter to pull out his own stool and take a seat beside her.
“Nori…” he said, sounding so obnoxiously calm, it almost made Nori balk.
She fixed her gaze down on her hands again, her fingers twisting into mini-pretzels in her lap. If she let herself look at him now, she’d turn into a blubbering mess, and she couldn’t have that.
Being perceived with her vulnerabilities in full display wasn’t her strongest suit. Or even her weakest suit. It wasn’t remotely her suit at all.
Vir
You didn’t lead me on.” Vircarefully chose his next words. “It might sound insane and that’s partially why I haven’t told you this before, but I—”
He’d never believed in things like love at first sight. How could you meet someone and be instantly in love? The idea itself was outrageous, even in a fictional setting.
But as the words tumbled out of his mouth now, he could see how blatantly obvious it was, in hindsight, that he hadn’t fallen for Nori slowly, over time, like a normal, sane person would have in his place. Though, if he were to be honest, he hadn’t fallen for her at first sight either.
Looking back, it was as if he’d always been in love with her, even before he’d seen her in person. As if some remote recess of his psyche had already known, and he’d been waiting for her, like it was simply a matter of time before they met.
And now that they had, it baffled him, how effortless loving her was. Like breathing on a healthy set of lungs.
Nori frowned, still glaring at her hands as they twisted and turned in her lap.
Vir took a deep inhale, gathering his thoughts into something coherent before he spoke again. “You haven’t led me on, Nori. You didn’t have to. I’ve been in—in love with you for a while now.” He kept out exactly how long a while.
It terrified him, laying his heart out, at the risk of her despising him even more. Would she regret ever meeting him, too, the way she regretted their kiss?
But there was no way he could’ve stayed silent when he could clearly feel the weight of her guilt. Guilt over something as absurd asherleadinghimon. Frustration, he understood. Even the regret. But guilt?
“I’m in love with you. I can’t quantify how much, but I can assure you it’s not just infatuation. And I don’t think it’ll pass.” In his head, he made numerous elaborate declarations of love to her every day. But to actually say the words out loud… it was simultaneously the hardest and the most ease-inducing thing he’d ever done. Every word that spilled out of his mouth, confessing his truth, comforted something inside him he hadn’t even known existed.
