Page 61 of A Lab Rat's Guide to Fated Love
Present Day, February 2019:
Kochi, Kerala
Nori
Ryan found me later,” Nori said,skipping over the details. “He was supposed to join us at the restaurant after work and grew worried when I didn’t return. Cops found evidence at Sunny’s apartment indicating he’d been stalking me for months even before he first approached me in Vancouver. Ryan hadn’t given him my number either. Or spoken to him at all. That was a lie.”
She lifted the hem of her t-shirt to reveal a cluster of jagged, ugly scars along her abdomen. “He probably assumed I was dead when he left. After being on the run for a while, he was killed in a traffic accident before the cops could get him.
“I developed severe PTSD and couldn’t talk or sleep. Couldn’t deal with the nightmares even when I did. Stole a pair of scissors from a nurse eventually and tried finishing the job.” Her thumb traced the other set of scars on her wrist.
“It was a while before I could step out of my parents’ house again. And once I did, I drowned myself in work. It kept me sane. I’m much better now—asyou can see—after years of rehab and therapy. No more nightmares except… well, birthdays are hard. I was weaned off the antidepressants last year, but still carry some with me or I get anxious. Also, I’m sterile,” she finally finished. Her neck ached from her sitting stiff for too long.
The tension didn’t leave her body even as seconds ticked by in relative silence. Relative, because the only ones silent were her and Vir. In the distance, the sea still roared in its dialect of wind and waves, while close by, some kind of migratory gulls cawed over each other as they scavenged for food.
Nori wanted to join them. Go be a bird and choke on trash at the beach or whatever. Anything was better than waiting for the terrible silence to be over.
She’d ripped the band-aid off. Now he knew. She had nothing more to tell him.
Vir was so uncannily quiet; she could tell he was trying to come up with the right words to tell her to get lost. Tactfully cancel his previous confession without coming across as a hypocrite, because he’d just realized that it had, if fact, been mere infatuation he’d mistaken for love. And that he didn’t want anything to do with her anymore.
Even though he was the kindest, most empathetic person she’d ever met, he was still just a guy. Why would he ever want her dumpster-fire of baggage in his life?
Nobody sane would. Not if they had a choice. And she wouldn’t really blame them.
Or him. Especially him. At least, she didn’t with her mind.
Her heart, however…Fuck him and his fake feelings.
She held firm on her resolution to not cry, but the rejection already stung. Worse than she’d thought it would. Even if Vir was yet to speak the words out loud.
Vir
Listening to Nori describe the horrorsof her past hadslowly made his limbs go numb.
Or maybe it was his blood repeatedly boiling and freezing over that had done it. Now he sat beside her, a chunk of partially cooled magma. Trying to form a coherent sentence while not daring to move, afraid he might crack and explode if he did.
His jaw clenched and unclenched, a litany of expletives fighting at the tip of his tongue. All he could think about was violent, cold-blooded murder. But the swine was already dead.
Nori…
She was still facing away from him, her gaze set on a flock of birds squabbling in the distance. He wanted to pull her close, more for his selfish sake than hers. Because even though he could feel everything she felt, feel the depth of her pain, he knew she didn’t need consolation from him. She was way too resilient on her own.
He was the one who needed her in his arms to be able to breathe right.
“Nori.” Her name, barely audible, was all he could manage before he exhaled in a shaky, audible huff.
Nori immediately sprung to her feet.
“It’s okay, I understand,” she said in a voice so calm it didn’t match the chaotic swirls inside her one bit. She turned and marched away from him.
“Wait, Nori.” He followed her into the living room. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean, and why this isn’t going to work,” she replied with her back to him. “And you certainly don’t have to feel what I feel and suffer through my crap. That’s not baggage you want to deal with.”
“No, you’re—”
“Don’t worry about wording things right or whatever. It’s fine, really. You don’t have to say anything. Let’s just keep our distance, and once you’ve recovered, we’ll go our separate ways. It’s not a big deal—”
