Page 69 of A Lab Rat's Guide to Fated Love
With a coy smile, she opened her eyes to find Vir’s side of the bed empty. As she reached for her glass of water on the nightstand, she looked at the clock and balked. It was already past noon.
She found Vir in the kitchen, tossing a bunch of chopped ingredients into a pan. They instantly began to sizzle and sputter.
“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said, sneaking an amused glance in her direction.
“Good afternoon,” she replied groggily. Her stomach grumbled loudly as she watched him move the stuff around with a wooden spatula. “Smells really good. What are you making?”
“Mushroom cheese dosa,” Vir answered. “I thought I’d give it a try. You seemed to love it at that diner.”
Nori’s heart sank at his words, and nodding once, she excused herself. She took her time composing her features in the bathroom mirror before she stepped out again.
She struggled to keep a straight face as she watched Vir place their mushroom, cheese, and mashed potato filled dosas on their plates before dragging a stool to sit beside her. Tearing off a small piece of the delicacy, she placed it in her mouth, and the explosion of flavor instantly made her want to crawl under the counter and bawl her eyes out.
He could’ve at least been a bad cook, seriously.
“What’s wrong?” Vir asked, watching her chomp her food with unnecessary force.
Nori shook her head.
“Look at me.”
She shook her head again.
Vir sighed, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear, and she felt herself leaning into his touch without thinking. Her eyes closed, and the anger and frustration melted away.
“Why do you have to be so…” she trailed off.
“So?”
“So you.” She opened her eyes, still refusing to look at him while the lump in her throat grew. She glared down at her plate, trying hard to keep the moisture in her eyes from spilling over. “You’re only making it harder for later.”
“For later?”
She didn’t reply.
“Are you planning on leaving me then?” he asked after a pause, and she could tell he was hurt by the way his voice wavered at the last syllable.
She wouldn’t—couldn’t. But she knew he would.
“No,” she muttered in a small voice. “But I need to be prepared for when you do. You don’t see it now, but you will eventually.”
“Nori—”
“Be realistic,” she interrupted him. “How long can you keep doing it through a closed door? Last night was… it was fucking amazing. But don’t you want more? I can’t give you that. At least not right now, and maybe not ever.”
“Then maybe I don’t want more.”
The affliction in his tone made her look up. “You’re saying that now,” Her voice cracked. “But you’ll change your mind. You know it as well as I do.”
“Nori…” Vir raked a hand through his hair, and as he let go, some fell over his brow.
Nori clutched her hands together in her lap, suppressing the need to reach out and brush the strands away. She watched him look to the side with a deep, forlorn sigh, and when his gaze finally returned to her, it was softer, kinder, but more pained than before.
“You haven’t explicitly told me this, but I do sometimes feel like you love me, too,” he said. “Would you just stop if I tell you we can’t—” He paused to look around as if he might find his next words suspended in the air around them, “—touch anymore?
“No, don’t answer that,” he cut in as she opened her mouth to reply. “I can’t do that, Nori. I can’t stop loving you even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. So, please stop telling me to leave, because I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m not telling you to leave,” Nori mumbled, turning her face away as hot tears rolled down her face. “Because when you do, I won’t be—” She sniffled, wiping a t-shirt sleeve over her damp cheeks. Then, tearing a large chunk of her dosa, she shoved it roughly in her mouth. “And how the hell did you make this better than that diner? Is there anything you’re bad at?”
