Page 20 of Afternoon Delight
“You feel responsible for our breakup? Why? Did you make that happen?” I thumbed toward Dad in the living room.
“I told you to come home.”
“For Christmas. She was working anyway.”
“You know what I mean.”
I did. Zara had had a small nervous breakdown on Christmas Eve, crying so hard Kyle had to take Dad and the kids for a drive to look at Christmas lights without us.
I’d felt like a giant asshole, finally seeing how much stress she’d been under. I said I’d come back until we figured out what was next for Dad. In that moment, I only wanted to comfort my sister and pick up my share of the burden. Maybe I’d thought there was some kind of protocol for how to deal with something like this and that I’d only be here a few weeks while we put a plan in place.
Erica had straightened me out when I got back to Vancouver. She knew what I was in for better than I did. Sure, there was a protocol and a process—one that would go on for years. We’d have to make thousands of decisions, and they were all going to suck.
Before Christmas, she’d agreed to marry me and we’d talked about trying to start a family once we were married. But she wasn’t prepared to quit her very good job, move to the Island, and help me care for a parent whose needs were only going to grow more complex.
Fresh off seeing Zara’s exhaustion from trying to juggle that with a family of her own, I couldn’t blame Ric for dumping me—but I couldn’t ignore what was happening here either.
We agreed to split, but here was my sister trying to buy a ticket for a guilt trip because Erica and I hadn’t fought harder for our relationship.
“You want me to go back to Vancouver and patch things up with her?” I asked.
“No,” she said glumly. “But you seem really bummed lately.”
I snorted and waved toward the living room. What did she expect?
“I know, but…”
“It is what it is. Let it go.”
Breakups sucked, and my feelings were hurt, but I didn’t regret being here.
There should be an app—like dating. Swipe right if you’re into diseases of the ear, nose, and throat.
“I have to get Jade,” Zara said, snapping me back to reality.
She went in to drop a hug across Dad’s shoulders, then came back to shoot her arms into her jacket while kicking into her boots.
“Next Thursday is book club. I’ll see if they want to swing by the sex shop on our way to dinner. Could be fun.”
I nodded, grateful. If she came by, she could sit with Dad for a few minutes and give me a chance to chat with Meg again.
Chapter 10
Meg
Roddie had texted me that he had a quiz to study for and a basketball game Friday night but promised to call me over the weekend.
When he decided to live with Joel, it had been about staying closer to his friends and his high school, which he liked for its music program.
I told Roddie I understood, but I still wavered between guilt and bitterness.
I’m that hypocrite who complains about becoming a mother too young but still gets upset that my son chose to live with his dad, leaving a gaping hole in my identity. I envy my daughter for being single and thriving in the carefree college life I never had—but I haven’t figured out how to enjoy being single myself.
I could have fought Joel for the house in Rosedale, and Roddie probably would have stayed with me there. But Joel had a baby on the way. I was happy to downsize into a North York condo near the university, in case Roddie decided to study there. Also, Joel had screwed Wanda in our bed while I was helping Mom with probate. That soured any lingering sentiment I felt toward our home, so I let him buy me out.
The only thing I regretted about my current decision was leaving Roddie again. I’d already missed too much of his life. Big things. Roddie was fourteen, and I hadn’t guessed he was gay until he told me and Joel right before school started in September.
I was still furious with myself for not realizing it sooner, but between Dad, the divorce, and returning to the office full-time, I’d been phoning in my parenting for at least three years.
