Page 12 of Save Me
“No.” No hesitation. Not for a second.
“Not even a little?”
“No. I did, for months after we broke up. That’s when I moved down to Miami and met Connor. And Ryan.”
Pieces in the Ronan puzzle are beginning to click. “That’s when you two hooked up?”
“Yeah, for, like, two weeks. If that. We were both freshly broken up, and neither of us was looking for a relationship. She hated my guts at the start, but we ended up being good friends. Then, Connor and I left for Alaska, and yeah, I’ll admit, maybe I took full advantage of my single status.”
Meaning he fucked around. A lot. That part doesn’t surprise me.
“So, what Ryan said about you and Connor…” I let that question drift.
“Ryan said a lot. You’ll have to be more specific.” By the twinkle in his eye, he knows damn well what I’m poking at, but he wants me to ask it.
Where do I even begin with this topic? “Are you strictly into women? I mean, is Connor more than a platonic?—”
“Only women.” There’s no waiver in his voice. “Dick doesn’t do it for me. Pussy does.”
I inhale sharply, the sound of that single word on Ronan’s lips stirring something deep inside. “But Connor and you have been with women together.”
“He’s been involved from time to time, yeah.”
“Just Connor? I mean, you haven’t tag-teamed with other men?”
He hesitates. “Once, with a couple. Why all thequestions about men and Connor? Is this something you’ve wanted to try?”
“No.”
“Because Connor would be game?—”
“No.” Oh my God, just the thought has my cheeks burning.
A slight frown furrows his brow. “So what are you concerned about, then?”
“I’m not concerned. I’m just pointing out how different we are.”
“Right, the whole vanilla thing.” He snorts, echoing my words from yesterday. “Tash and I would have been labeled that, and I never had any complaints, if that’s what you’re getting at.”
Tash. She’s the one who was texting him on the cruise.
“Do you still talk to her?” I ask as nonchalantly as possible, holding my breath as I wait for him to lie.
“I didn’t until recently, but we’ve reconnected as friends. She’s coming to the hotel this weekend with a bachelorette party. Look, I don’t care who you’ve been with or not been with.” He pushes a strand of clinging hair off my forehead with gentle fingers. “And I’m not really interested in running through our score cards. Are you?”
“No, I don’t think I am,” I admit. Maybe it’s better I don’t know how many women Ronan has slept with. That way, I can deceive myself into feeling like I’m enough for him. On a positive note, he didn’t lie to me about his ex. That’s something. “So, you went to Alaska and then what?”
Something flickers in his eyes that I can’t read. “Then I went back to Miami. I still wasn’t anywhere near ready for a relationship. About a year ago, I decided to turn over a new leaf. No more meaningless hookups and friends with benefits. Then I came to Mermaid Beach, and I met you.” He steps in closer, until our chests graze each other, and stares down at me with an intensity I wasn’t expecting.
What is he telling me—that he’s looking to settle down?
Another wave of nerves hits me with the stark reality that I am pregnant with this man’s baby.
Is it wrong to continue this charade? To hold this enormous, life-altering secret from him? Maybe not, but I haven’t digested it myself. I’m not about to ruin the illusion of whatever this is between us yet.
But the weight of this is almost too much to bear, and suddenly, all I want to do is use his strength. On impulse, I lean in and rest my cheek on Ronan’s chest.
He stiffens for a split second, but then his body relaxes, and his muscular arms fold around me.
