Page 325 of The Daughters of Avalon
“What now if she tests you? Who wins?”
Even through her sarcasm, he heard uncertainty in her voice and it was nearly his undoing.
What, indeed, would he do?
It was an honest question and deserving of an honest answer, but Cael frowned, averting his gaze, because he didn’t know how to reply.
In the end, defying Morwen could cost him his life—or, at the very least, his soul.
And yet, did he still have a soul in his body?
How did one extricate the essence of one’s being and wholly unite it again? After all, one did not simply dismantle a dog as one did a plough.
Admittedly, he oft felt cold inside—ravaged, wasted, little remaining but an empty carcass.
Were it not for one thing… this small thing… he might think himself already spent. That one small thing was the spark of his heart flame reignited by Rhiannon—and would that be enough when faced with the end, as it naturally must come?
Would he truly be strong enough to die for what he loved…this time?
Alas, though he had the reliquaries in his possession, he was still ignorant of their power, and if Morwen should wield them against him, would his resolve crumple like a decrepit auld cairn?
When it mattered most, would he choose love over life?
Or life over love?
Cael liked to believe he had a definitive answer…
But did he?
Truly?
It was easy enough to speak what he knew in his heart to be the right and honorable thing to do under these circumstances, but would he act upon his words?
And this was the thing that haunted him most… all those many moons ago, when Nesta begged him to allow her to sacrifice herself to save his life… he’d let her.
Instead, he should have denied her and allowed her to live out her life in peace… without him. He should have closed his eyes evermore, and let it be so.
But nay, he had not. He’d given her assent.
Delirious or nay, he’d made a choice. And perhaps he’d hoped it wouldn’t cost her life, but she did say it would, had she not?
Only speak the word, and I shall gift you my life!
Aye,he had said, and so she had… and here he was.
And then, when he’d sworn to honor her memory forever, what had he gone and done? He promptly forgot her and gave his heart to another.
He’d given it to Rhiannon.
But… was he truly capable of the selfless love Nesta had displayed? Or, when push came to shove, would he betray his own heart? And this time, if he failed, he’d never find comfort in vengeance…
This time if he failed, he would long for death.
They breached the gate without contest and Rhiannon averted her gaze.
“Forgive me,” he begged.
“For what?”
