Page 42 of Hardcore Vanilla
Annoyance twinged through him at the matter-of-fact way she said it. Then again, he’d accused her of being an attention whore in the past, much more bluntly and less politely than he just had. It wasn’t like she was unaware of his thoughts about that.
“Why do you need more attention?” he asked, trying to sound casual, but even he could hear the edge to his voice.
Straightening up, Sharon turned to face him again, crossing her arms defensively over her chest. “Here’s a question – why does it bother you so much?”
Jake opened his mouth… closed it. He didn’t really know why it bothered him when it came right down to it. Just that he didn’t understand it and it grated on him that she constantly seemed to need so much of it.
“What’s wrong with liking attention?” She dropped her arms, stepping towards him, her voice rising a little as she demanded an answer. “If you see me taking it away from someone who would be getting the attention at the time, yeah I could see how that would be annoying. But I try not to do that, and I think I mostly succeed. Have I been taking attention Lexie and Patrick should be getting tonight? Or anyone else?”
Her dark eyes were hot with pent-up annoyance that went back far before New Year’s Eve as she came closer. A muscle worked in Jake’s jaw because he knew she had a point.
“No, you haven’t.”
About a foot away from him, she stopped, tossing her hands up in their air. “So, what’s wrong then? If it’s just that I like having lots of positive attention flowing towards me… Well that’s just one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. And I’ve heard a lot of stupid things. Said some of them too.”
Snorting a laugh, Jake slid his hands out of his pockets and reached out for her. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, her body stiffening slightly, as he pulled her towards him.
“You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why it bothers me, which means it’s pretty irrational for me to be bothered.”
“Damn right it is,” she muttered, although she relaxed slightly as his hands slid up her back. The sweater material of her dress was soft under his palms, and some of the thoughts he’d been having when he saw her bent over, looking at the photos, were returning.
“I might be a bit jealous,” he admitted, probing his emotions.
Sharon blinked at him in surprise. “Because you want more attention?”
“What? No… I mean, not in the way you’re thinking,” he said, shaking his head. “Being the center of attention usually makes my skin crawl, so I think I have trouble understanding why you like it so much. But also, I think I might be jealous of the attention you’re giving to everyone else. At least, that’s part of it right now.”
He’d never really deeply probed his feelings about the issue, to be honest, but what he was saying felt like it was right. Every time he’d come home in his fatigues, he and his fellow troops had gotten plenty of attention, but it hadn’t really been attention that was aboutthempersonally. While he appreciated it on one level, on another it had made him acutely uncomfortable.
People staring, people pointing, people applauding… and none of them had known what it was like. Some of the times he’d been fine, other times he’d wanted to run and hide from all the eyes. And he was lucky; he hadn’t been part of any missions gone bad. Most of his duties had been pretty routine. At one point he’d been assigned to be part of one of the teams instructing the military police in Afghanistan, but the program – which had had a one of the highest fatality rates in the country – had been discontinued a few weeks before his team had been deployed.
And Jake had been relieved. Which had made him feel like a coward. He would have gone, of course, but he hadn’t been looking forward to it. He’d hated telling his parents and glossing over how dangerous that particular assignment would be. Had dreaded counting off the days leading up to it.
So when the program had been discontinued and he’d been given leave instead, coming home and hearing the applause and gratitude from in the airport had made him feel like a fraud.
Then he’d gone to Stronghold and started getting reacquainted with everyone and met Sharon, who obviously thrived on attention. Courted it. Reveled in it.
He hadn’t exactly been friendly to her and she’d given back as good as she’d gotten… and he’d liked that. Being the focus of her attention hadn’t bothered him, and he’d kind of gotten off on constantly verbally sparring with her. Of course, holding her against him andnotverbally sparring was nice too…
A little smile curved her lips and she tilted her head at him as she began to walk her fingers up his chest. “Oh? Well you have my attention now…”
The invitation in her voice was unmistakable.
It was his little sister’s and best friend’s engagement party.
His entire family was in the house.
Sneaking off to have sex with his fuck buddy would be incredibly crass.
None of the other women he’d ever dated would have dared hint at it.
They would have been appalled if he’d suggested it.
Ah… fuck it.
“I’ve got more photos upstairs in my old room,” he said.
Sharon’s smiled turned absolutely wicked and his cock responded immediately. Yeah, he definitely liked being the focus of her full attention.
