Page 80 of Stripping the Sub
Because she craved him. Because she wanted to hear his voice. Because she wanted him to tell her everything was going to be fine.
But what if he didn’t?
What if he was calling to cancel their contract?
What if he was calling to yell at her for dating Lawrence at all?
Even if he was calling to say her past didn’t matter, could she really believe him when it had taken him two days to get to that point?Or was that just her trying to cop out againand being unreasonable, when anyone would have needed time to deal with her confession? Should she pick up the phone?
Just thinking about what he might say, trying to decide how she would respond in each instance, had her panting for air with lungs which were too constricted to really breathe.
No. No, she couldn’t pick up the phone.
For the same reason she hadn’t been able to pick up the phone when any of her friends had called. Because were they really her friends? Or were they Michael’s? Would they be on her side or his? Would they still want to hang out with her? Would she be able to hang out with them when Michael might appear at any minute and remind her of everything she wanted but couldn’t have? When he might show up and berate her for her poor choices?
The other women had been sympathetic. They’d been supportive. But then, she hadn’t told them about her previous problems with Lawrence. They hadn’t known she’d had prior evidence of him being a jerk, of him harassing her.
She always tried to excuse herself in her head, because of how he’d been when he’d started trying to get to know her, but deep down she knew she shouldn’t have trusted him. She shouldn’t have convinced herself he’d changed. That he was a good guy. That he was a good boyfriend.
Michael knew. Michael knew exactly what a monumental mistake she’d made. And even if he said it didn’t matter, would she ever be able to look in his eyes again without seeing that knowledge? Without seeing shock on his face? Without seeing the pale, disbelieving expression he’d worn before he’d realized she was telling the truth?
Ellie buried her face in Watson’s soft fur as the tears began to fall again.
She knew she should call Dr. Amy. She knew she should make an appointment.
Tomorrow. She’d do it tomorrow.
And she wouldn’t think about how she’d told herself that yesterday too.
******
Thursday night Ellie didn’t come to the club.
No one had heard from her yet either.
Jake had suggested he go knock on her door and threaten to break it down if she didn’t let him in. He’d been mostly joking, but Sharon had practically unleashed the furies of hell on him anyway. A ten minute lecture about why Michael was doing the right thingby giving Ellie her space and letting her choose what she wanted, rather than forcing himself on her, kept anyone else from making any similar jokes.
If he wasn’t already half in love with Ellie – okay, maybe more than half if he was being completely honest with himself – he’d probably be worshipping at Sharon’s feet.
Even though he was pretty sure he’d have to fight off Jake for a chance with her.He’d decided their sniping at each other was like a really aggressive, slightly angry form of foreplay. Focusing on others who weren’t happily paired up let his mind rest a little, distracted him from his own issues. Sharon and Brian had stoppedscening together, which seemed to make her even more mouthywith Jake. The two of them were definitely attracted to each other, but neither of them seemed happy about it, was the conclusion Michael finally came to.
They were nearly as fascinating as watching Luke and Olivia circle around each other. Luke had shown up tonight to get a feel for Stronghold, as well as BDSM in general, and he seemed perfectly at home in the club already,even if he was wearing jeans and a button down shirt like Jake rather than leathers. He was also obviously smitten with Olivia who was just as obviously doing her best to have nothing to do with him. Michael found it more interesting that she focused on avoiding him rather than smacking him down. She’d groused some more about him and Patrick taking on Luke as a partner, mostly because he was both a newbie to the scene and unknown. There’d been a rather wicked gleam in her eye when she’d demanded Luke go through the newbie class like all the other Doms before being allowed to play.
Michael and Patrick had agreed.
Luke had agreed when they’d talked to him about it tonight.
They’d told Olivia he’d agreed, although they hadn’t told her everything. They were both looking forward to seeing herexpression when she realized.
At least it gave Michael something to look forward to.
His head swiveled around as the door to the lobby opened again and another group of people came in.
Still no Ellie.
All he could do was hope she would show up. Hope she’d be willing to talk.
Hope Lexie and Angel had been right. That she didn’t blame him. Although if she didn’t, he wasn’t entirely sure what her problem with him was, but he wanted to talk about it.
