Page 85 of Stripping the Sub
Dammit. He couldn’t stand to watch the growing tension in her body, to hear the quiver in her voice. He couldn’t just sit here and do nothing. Talking had always made her uncomfortable, sex was where they’d had no issues… Swiftly making up his mind, Michael scooted around the booth, making her freeze in place. At least she didn’t run.
Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her onto his lap, his hands sliding up to her breasts and he squeezed them hard through her jacket. Ellie slumped back against him, the tension sliding away from her muscles at the distraction. He scraped his teeth over her neck and enjoyed the way she shuddered against him. “Keep reading, sweetheart.”
While she read, he unzipped her jacket so he could play with her more directly. The shirt she was wearing underneath was a simple, dark red long sleeve shirt with a rounded neckline. His hands went under the hem and up to her breasts, pushing her bra up so he could roll her hard nipples between his fingers, increasing the pressure or twisting whenever her voice faltered.
“I was always scared you’d find out what had happened to me, and I freaked out, because I didn’t know how you’d react. I knew I’d been stupid, and I didn’t want you to know how stupid I’d been. I haven’t had a real relationship, a normal relationship, since Lawrence. I wanted to try, but I think I was always expecting to fail, and last weekend when you said you knew something had happened to me, I just couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t stand waiting for everything to fall apart, so I made sure that it did.”
Her breath caught and he gave her nipples a particularly viscouspinch, making her shiver. He felt her hesitate.
“Is that it, sweetheart?”
“No, there’s more.” Her voice was small. Scared. But not in the good way. Michael bit down on her neck again, rolling her nipples and pulling on them until she arched her back in an effort to relieve the pressure. The way she was squirming told him how turned on she was, even as she bared herself emotionally to him.
“Keep going then.”
A whine escaped her as he continued to torment her nipples, before she refocused on the paper. Now her words came more haltingly. Unhappily. “You’re an amazing man and… you deserve… a submissive who can… give you everything you need… not… not one…”
That was enough of that.
Michael released her breasts and pulled his hands out from underneath her shirt so he could yank the paper out of her hand. The unhappy sub on his lap had hunched in again. Pulling her back against him, Michael scooted her down his lap so her legs were splayed on either side of his, her breasts up for his offering, and her head resting back on his shoulder so she couldn’t hide her expression from him.
“Michael!” She tried to fight the re-positioning, reaching for the paper he tossed away.
“No, Ellie, lean back. Safe word or submit.” His voice brooked no argument and, heaving a hefty sigh, Ellie leaned back against him, choosing to submit. Her body trembled against his, not quite as pliable as he wanted. Michael ran one hand back up her shirt while the other moved down between her legs to press against the seam over her pussy. Even though she didn’t moan aloud, he could feel it through her body. “I don’t believe I’ve ever thought about what kind of submissive I ‘deserve’, sweetheart, only about what kind of submissive I want. And I thought I made it pretty clear I want you. Do you want me?”
“Yes, and-”
“Hush, sweetheart, yes or no answers.” He gave her pussy a little slap. It wouldn’t even sting with her jeans blocking the way, but it did get her attention. “Do you believe I want you?”
“Yes.”
Oh, she wanted to say so much more, he could tell, but she held back. Followed his order.
“Good girl.” This time he gave her pussy a harder slap and her hips bucked upwards, seeking more. “Are you the Dominant?”
“No.”
Slap. He squeezed her breast hard, rubbing his thumb over her silky flesh.
“Are you the submissive?”
“Yes.” Her voice was breathy.
Slap. Michael’s hand moved over to her other breast to give it the same rough treatment. Ellie’s little gasping breaths were a sure indication of her growing arousal.
“Do you get to decide what I deserve?”
“No, Michael,” she whispered. And then shook herself. “That’s what I was trying to tell you, but you didn’t let me finish reading what I wrote!”
With a sigh, Michael released her enough so she could sit up. “Okay, sweetheart, you finish reading the letter, but skip to the good stuff. I don’t need to hear about what you think I deserve, unless your name is at the end of the sentence.”
She gave him a slightly pouty look over her shoulder as she reached for the paper he’d discarded, but he could tell by the way her eyes ran over the writing that a chunk of it was going to go unread.
“Okay… okay, so,” her voice dropped back into her reading tone, although it was still tinged with desire. “Even though I feel like I don’t deserve you - OW!” He’d pinched the side of her breast hard, enough to hurt in a not-fun way. “It’s just how the sentence starts, I promise!” There was just a touch of amusement in her voice though. Michael went back to kneading her swollen breasts, occasionally giving her nipples a little pinch. “Even though I feel like I don’t deserve you, I’ve come to realize I have some self-esteem and self-worth issues which I kept pretty buried and still haven’t worked through yet. The others seem to think I do deserve you and you still want me, and if you’re willing to take another chance on me, I’d like to try again. I can’t promise I won’t freak out again, or that I’ll be any good at being in a relationship, but I want to try.”
Her voice wavered a little with uncertainty on the last sentence. She was breaking his heart. Not that she needed to know how she was wreaking havoc on his emotions right now right now. Right now, she needed reassurance and him to share his feelings - something he’d been reticent to do because he hadn’t been sure how she would take it before. But maybe if he’d been more open about exactly how much he wanted her, exactly what he wanted from her - which was a real relationship, then maybe she wouldn’t have felt so panicked and insecure about him.
“Oh sweetheart,” Michael breathed in her ear. His fingers closed around her nipples. “Now that I know for sureyouwantme, you’d have to get the whole of Stronghold to drag me away from you. And there’s no way they’d take your side, so you’re just shit out of luck on that front.”
