Page 120 of Danger and Dominance
“Ouch.That was a direct hit.”
Mistress Julie smiled at her.
“You’re doing great, Cassidy.It’s a long, slow road.I suggest doing some journaling about what it is you really want.And remember, you don’t have to make a decision right away.You also aren’t trapped in whatever decision you make; you can always change your mind.If you move out, it sounds like David would be happy to have you move back in when you’re ready.If you stay, he’ll understand if you change your mind in the future and realize you need more space… and if he doesn’t understand, then he’s probably not the right man for you.”
“He would understand,” Cassidy said immediately.She had no doubt about that.David had been nothing but supportive.He didn’t push her to make a decision, though he also didn’t hesitate to make her feel welcome or to let her know that he wanted her there.
Even though they had a tendency to go back and forth on making decisions, she trusted him not to… well, not to be anything like Don if she changed her mind.
“I think I want to stay here.”She sighed.“I just want someone to tell me it’s okay to.”
“It is okay to.”Mistress Julie chuckled.“Whatever you choose is okay.”
“Ugh, I hate that.I want there to be a right choice.”A right choice would mean she wouldn’t get trapped in a bad situation again.Not that she thought being with David was ever going to be a bad situation.Mistress Julie was right.She needed to start trusting herself more.She’d made the wrong choice in the past and suffered the consequences, but that didn’t mean every choice she made would be the wrong one.
“Is there anything else going on that you want to talk about?”
“You mean other than getting my Dom shot and him wanting me to move in with him?”She giggled when Mistress Julie gave her a stern look.They’d already had plenty of long talks about her blaming herself, but sometimes, a little dark humor made her feel better.“It’s a little crazy.I told you about the governor’s race and Marshall Devlin and all that.”
“Yes.”Mistress Julie made a face.“I will say, I don’t love the idea of you getting caught in the crosshairs of someone’s vendetta that has nothing to do with you.”
“So far, there’s no reason to think he’s doing anything but trying to take down the company,” Cassidy said.“He seems like a pretty awful guy, but not like, take out innocent bystanders awful.”
“Mmm.”Clearly, the therapist wasn’t convinced.
Cassidy’s stomach did a little flip.She knew all too well how someone who felt entitled could react when denied what they wanted.But she wasn’t leaving Pittsburgh, regardless.So far, there was definitely no reason to.
“Anyway, they’ve offered their services at a discount to Senator Marlin if she needs them.David’s been going into the office.I’m back being his grandmother’s companion for now.And I’m meeting his sister this weekend.”The last words came out in a rush.
“Nervous?”
“Very.I got her brother shot.”This time, she wasn’t joking around when she said it, and Mistress Julie gave her another look.“I know, I know, but what if she sees it that way?”
“Do you know if she does?”
Cassidy shook her head sheepishly.
“I might have been purposefully avoiding being around David whenever he’s on the phone with her.He hasn’t said that she blames me, but I also don’t know if he would tell me that.Or if she would tell him that she blames me.”
“Okay, she blames you.What’s the worst thing that happens?”
“David realizes she’s right and dumps me.”The pang in her chest was a lot harder than the one she’d had earlier.She didn’t want to lose David.
“Do you think he would actually do that?”
Cassidy took in a long, deep breath, and let it out slowly, the way Mistress Julie had taught her.Some of the tension in her body leaked out with the air.
“No, he wouldn’t.”David did what he wanted to do.He’d become estranged from his parents over it.And he didn’t blame her.The likelihood of his sister being able to convince him… “But that could cause a rift with his sister if she blames me, then he’d lose another family member, and it would be my fault.”
“Would it?Or would it be her fault for blaming you?”
“Well, if you’re going to make me be reasonable about it,” Cassidy muttered, huffing and making Mistress Julie laugh.She scrubbed her hands over her face.“I just want her to like me.I don’t want David to lose another family member.”
“Both of which are very reasonable desires, but they’re also not under your control.You’ll do the best you can.You are a very likeable person, Cassidy.And David likes you, which is the most important thing.”
David said he was falling for her.She was falling for him, too.
If it wasn’t too soon to move in together, did that mean it wasn’t too soon to use the word ‘love’, either?
