Page 13 of Desire and Discipline
By the time she finished speaking, her heart was pounding inside her chest, and she felt as though she’d just run down the length of Hyde Park in a race. However, she felt such relief releasing the words out into the world, admitting the thoughts one should never say aloud.
Joseph was still staring at her, and the heat that had suffused her cheeks now felt like it was creeping down her neck to her chest. It was not exactly embarrassment; at least, she did not want it to be.
She had nothing to be embarrassed about. That was what she told herself. After all, what she was describing was exactly what he was receiving from a woman who wasnothis wife.
Joseph
This was not the Priscilla he knew.
He was having trouble equating the woman he’d married with the one who stood before him now.
He did not know how he felt about her.
Well, his cock did. His cock had grown harder and harder with every word out of her beautiful mouth. The dark part of his psyche was yearning for what she was describing, eager to test these convictions with her.
Then there was the other part of him.
The part that had been terrified that his amiable, pleasant wife would find out about his depraved desires was now horrified that she shared them. That’s not what a wife was supposed to do. Wives were supposed to be… something else.
Except that was not right, either.
Lady Cross had been married at one point. So had his previous mistress, who had actually been his lover. Though he did not know if either of them had had this kind of relationship with their husbands. He had never asked. Never thought to. He’d assumed their husbands would never have agreed to such a thing… but now, he could not find a true reason why he would make such an assumption.
“Joseph.” Lady Cross’ stern tone jerked his attention away from Priscilla, who he’d been staring at rather blankly. He blinked, refocusing on the lady. “Would you like to tell your wife your preferences, or should I?”
“I…” He looked back and forth between them. “I do not know if I can do this.”
“Why not?” Priscilla asked, frowning as she crossed her arms over her chest. His cock jerked again, even as his chest clenched. “You had no problem doing… this… with Lady Cross.”
“Exactly. She’s not… she’s not my wife.” The words came out before he could consider how they sounded, and Priscilla jerked as if he’d slapped her.Bloody hell.“Priscilla, that’s not what I meant. I meant, you’re mywife.I’m supposed to respect you, protect you, not bring you into my perversions… and how are you supposed to respect me after… after…”
Lady Cross closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose, but before she could say anything, Priscilla was already shaking her head. With her hands on her hips, she glared at him, as if he was a nincompoop. And maybe he was.
“Do you think that Anthony respects Evie any less after disciplining her? Do you think Elijah respects Josie less?”
“Well, no, but that’s because Evie and Josie are not men. They are… they are supposed to be…”
Groaning, Lady Cross let her arm fall.
“You care too much what other people think, Joseph. You always have.” She sent a sympathetic glance toward Priscilla, who did not see it because she was too busy glaring at Joseph, struggling to find the words to respond to him. “Have I ever given you any indication that I hold you in less esteem because you are on the receiving end of discipline?”
“Well, no, but…”
“Has anyone in this house ever made you feel that way?”
“No, but…”
“Priscilla, did you lose any respect for your husband because he enjoys being punished?”
“No,” she said coldly. “But I did lose some for him when I realized he has so little for me.”
It felt like an accusation, and it hurt, especially when he had been behaving with nothing but respect for her.
“What are you talking about?” The words burst out of him, finally allowing him to complete a sentence. “I have done nothing but show respect for you! I have not only been more than discreet, but from the beginning of our courtship, I released my lover and have never taken another! That is more than most gentlemen would do!”
“And far less than most of the men in your family have done,” Priscilla snapped back, taking him by surprise. She crossed her arms over her chest, radiating hurt, anger, and a strong desire not to be touched, though he now ached to reach out and hold her.
Despite his best intentions, hehadhurt her. Despite his best intentions, she clearly did not feel respected. And she was not wrong.
