Page 104 of Let the Game Begin
“You should distance yourself from them. It’s your fault we’re even in this situation. You and the people you hang around with and all the shit you pull!” Logan accused him, and Neil recoiled as though he’d been slapped. I didn’t understand what specifically they were talking about, as I knew little about Neil’s past and somehow even less about his present.
The human disaster in front of me, however, must have known exactly what Logan meant. He huffed an annoyed breath and then quirked a corner of his mouth as his gaze shifted to the music box. He picked it up and held it in his hand, turning it this way and that for a few moments as it rested in his palm and then… he hurled it against the wall, reducing it to a thousand tiny pieces.
The deafening, unexpected noise bounced off the walls of the living room, and I shut my eyes against it. When I opened them again, I saw Loganstanding frozen, observing the entire scene.
“Feel better now?” he asked coldly while Neil panted. The skin on his cheekbones was red, and the tendons in his neck stood out. One raised vein protruded from his temple, and his full lips were parted and dry.
“Fuck you,” Neil hissed menacingly, leveling a glare at his brother.
Just then, someone opened the front door and walked in. Chatter filled up the room. It was Mia and Matt, along with Chloe.
“I’m so happy you’re going back to school tomorrow and…” Mia’s smile fell as she noticed the shards of ceramic scattered all over the floor. Matt, on the other hand, shut the door and immediately put an arm around the baby of the family.
“What’s going on here?” Mia looked from the destroyed music box to her children before turning back to Chloe and shooing her away. “Go on to your room, darling,” she said in a soothing voice, though I was sure that she herself was feeling shaken and concerned.
With just a fleeting glance to her brothers, Chloe went across the living room and up the stairs without offering a reply. Matt stepped up to join his girlfriend, and apparently not at all surprised by the situation, looked closely at Neil.
“Are we back to this, Neil?” Mia addressed her eldest child directly with a stern, investigatory tone. Neil said nothing but held his mother’s gaze without any sort of fear. “If you can’t stop having these sorts of reactions, I’ll be forced to—”
“Kick me out? Or send me to the nuthouse?” he said with a goading smile as he turned to face his mother. Mia swallowed hard and shook her head, shifting her eyes to the music box that had been demolished by her son’s rage.
“Where did I go wrong with you?” Sadness shadowed her pale face, and Matt rested a hand on her shoulder to bolster her.
“Everywhere,” Neil answered, staring intently at her.
“It was my fault, Mom. I provoked him,” Logan added, but his mother didn’t even look at him. She stared stubbornly at Neil.
“You got every part of it wrong,” Neil continued. “You never listened to what I was trying to tell you with my silences. You never looked into thethings I drew or my teachers’ suspicions.” His gave her a mirthless smile as he moved closer to her. “You were too focused on yourself, too busy with your career and the dinners you were going to with William while the world pulled me down and the monsters devoured my soul.” He wasn’t merely looking her in the eyes, he was incinerating her from the inside out; the tears that had started pouring down her cheeks were evidence of that.
Matt remained silent, saying nothing in Mia’s defense. Presumably, he knew something that I didn’t and maybe it was somehow justified, this hatred that Neil had for his mother.
“Idrewit for you. The black was for fear, yellow was for her hair, and red…red was for hell. Was it really that hard to decode? I was a kid; I didn’t know any other way to tell you what was happening to me…” he continued in a whisper. Mia bowed her head, audibly sobbing.
For my part, I couldn’t understand any of this, but I could feel Neil’s pain. Surprisingly, I felt like crying myself. A chill crept under my skin, despite the warmth of the room. The chill of his words and his faraway eyes, sucked into the darkness.
“I’m sorry…” Mia’s thin voice shattered the intense silence. Matt allowed his hand to slide from his girlfriend’s shoulder and lowered his arm, surrendering her to her cruel fate. There was nothing to be done to fill the void in Neil’s golden eyes and in his beautiful, miserable face.
“Doesn’t matter. That doesn’t matter anymore.”
Peter Pan had ceased to fly.
He didn’twantto.
The stars were winking out; the curtain was descending.
The show was over.
25
Selene
I stood motionless, staring down the door of the room that contained the memory boxes.
It was still locked, so I could only stare at its wooden surface as though hoping that at any moment the answers I sought might be inscribed upon it.
I understood that something terrible had happened to Neil, and the newspaper articles about a scandal only increased my suspicions. Perhaps I should have been understanding and patient with him, waiting until I had completely earned his trust. He was a unique man, after all. Every day, he grappled with his problems and never allowed anyone to stay by his side.
But I didn’t want to give up. At least, not that easily.
