Page 160 of Let the Game Begin
“I’m going back to Logan.” I gestured at my brother’s door and she nodded, still not saying anything. She walked away, but before she could get back to the waiting room, I snatched her wrist and drew close to her.
“Thanks for the coffee.” In reality, I was thanking her not just for that but for everything that she was doing for us. She must have realized that, because she smiled at me and her ocean eyes lit up. It took so little to makeher happy, and she never wanted anything in return for all that she gave. She just did it out of the kindness of her heart—her good and pure heart.
“No problem.” She stood up on her tiptoes and planted an unexpected kiss on my jaw. I was so much taller than her that I would have needed to bend down for her to reach my cheek or my lips. I hadn’t moved for her, however, because I had not anticipated the gesture.
“I didn’t give you permission to kiss me,” I said, stern and cynical. I even narrowed my eyes at her in a threatening sort of way to reinforce the concept.
“Well, then I must be very rude.” She gave me an indifferent, one-shoulder shrug and grinned cheekily at me.
Did she really think herself rude for stealing a kiss from me?
So what did that make me, who had stolen her virginity, her innocence, and everything else that belonged to her out of pure male ego? What right did I have to demand everything from her, leaving nothing behind for anyone else?
“Go on, get out of here.” I shook my head. Now was not the time to think about how tight and hot she was around me or how she moaned timidly beneath me or how many times I’d been able to make her come as I fucked her because she was still so inexperienced and couldn’t handle the physical sensations.
I was going to keep on using her until her last day in New York.
Fortunately for me, she did walk away and I watched her body, slim yet shapely, proceeding toward the waiting room. In that moment, I remembered that she too was a potential target, and I decided that I was going to make sure she returned to Detroit as soon as possible. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her because of me. I knew, though, that Selene was stubborn and just telling her to leave wouldn’t be enough to make her do it. I’d have to figure something else out. I needed to show her what I really was or I had to act like such a bastard that she’d actually hate me.
It wasn’t important how I did it, but I was going to have to hurt her.
It wouldn’t be too hard—the Boy would help me, after all. All I needed to do was think of Kimberly, and I would become the monster, the worst ofbeasts, and Babygirl would understand exactly why I was incapable of love, why I was so disturbed and deviant.
I quit thinking about Selene and returned to Logan’s room. Every time I saw him lying there in that bed, I felt a hollowness in my chest. I sat down next to him again and took his hand.
“Logan, I’m back.” I wasn’t going anywhere; I was going to stay by his side for as long as it took. I didn’t care if I ate or drank or slept; I just needed to hear his voice again.
I started talking to him again, like I’d been doing all night because I had once heard that talking to someone in a coma helps keep their spirit alive.
“What do you say I play some music for you?” I asked as his chest slowly rose and fell. I took out my phone and opened the music player, scrolling for his favorite song among my files.
“Here we go.” I played “See You Again” by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth and adjusted the volume so it wasn’t too loud. Slowly, I brought the phone closer to him.
“Do you remember when you used to listen to this every day? You had just watched that Fast and Furious movie for the third time and every time this song started, you’d tell me about how choked up you got during the scene where Dom met Brian at the crossroads and they thought back on all the good times they had together,” I murmured, my voice weak as I rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb.
“You were obsessed with those fucking movies. You still have all the DVDs in your room,” I said archly. “Remember when you said you wanted to be as yoked as Dwayne Johnson?” I smiled at the memory of him pumping his biceps, pretending to be his favorite actor.
“And you had a thing for Michelle Rodriguez. You said you wanted to marry her someday,” I added, thinking back fondly on his hormonal teenage discourses on the subject. “You were so funny. Who’s going to watch our favorite movies with me if you don’t come back?”
It was hard to say it.
Meanwhile, the song echoed off the bare walls, my melancholy clashing with it—like dissonance, like arrhythmia, like a discordant note.
“This is it, this is your favorite part. You hummed it ad nauseam.” I trulywanted to cry. Maybe if I did, I could have gotten some feeling of release instead of just more suffocating pain.
When the song ended, I closed the app and locked my screen again. Everything was silent once more and the beep of the monitors bounced incessantly between the walls. I glanced at the clock and saw that Logan had now been in a coma for twelve hours, and he still hadn’t woken up.
I sighed and squeezed his hand again. I wasn’t going to give up. Life had always been cruel to me. I never got the opportunity to choose or even escape my destiny, but Logan still could. For him, there had to be another possibility.
“Come on, Logan. Wake up.”
I stared at his closed eyelids. He was immersed in a world of shadow, and I wanted to pull him out, but nothing happened. I sighed and lay my forehead on our linked hands.
“If you leave me, I won’t be able to do it anymore,” I admitted, struggling to breathe. “Losing you would destroy me for good. I’d have to go with you,” I told him, staring at his expressionless face.
I blinked, trying to banish the sudden irritation I felt at the corners of my eyes. I hummed his song under my breath, struggling to control the emotions that were making my chest feel tight. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his hand again, where it was enclosed within mine. I felt like my head was caving in, or rather that I was going out of my head entirely. All I wanted to do was wake up from this nightmare, talk to Logan, mess up his hair, and bust his chops like nothing had happened.
Suddenly, I felt something moving against my forehead. I lifted my face and frowned down at his still-relaxed fingers. Shit, now I was starting to hallucinate as well.
