I ran a hand over my face in exasperation. I already hadn’t been doing well, and this situation was fraying the last threads of sanity I still had. I stared at his inert hand and shook my head, scoffing at myself because my mind had clearly started playing tricks on me.
Just then, however, my brother’s index finger began to tap on the mattress, and I blinked to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
“Logan.” I turned my gaze to his face and saw his eyelids tremble.
“I can’t believe it.” My heart began to pound so hard that I thought I would have a heart attack. I grinned uncontrollably and my eyes filled with tears. I felt like I was living in a dream and I was afraid that, at any moment, I might wake up.
“Logan,” I said, getting closer to him. “Can you hear me? Open your eyes,” I urged him as his eyelids continued to twitch. “Come on. You’ve got this. You can do it!” I continued to hold his hand as I got to my feet.
With aching slowness, he opened his eyes and immediately looked at me.
In that moment, it was as though my soul itself finally let out a long-held breath.
“Hey, little brother,” I whispered in relief and he squeezed my hand. I knew it. I knew he’d never give up. I stared down at our linked hands, connected like always, like they were each part of the same whole, like a cardinal point aimed toward infinity. I looked at his face, and he tried to wink at me.
“Welcome back.” My heart felt like it would actually burst. “You’re awake, Logan! I have to tell Matt!” I said enthusiastically. “Just d-don’t go to sleep,” I babbled. I didn’t even know what the fuck I was saying. “I mean, stay awake. Don’t close your eyes,” I added, still in shock and never letting go of his hand.
“I’ll be right back.” I didn’t want to leave him, but it would only be a few seconds, just a few seconds and then I could return to his room.
I ran out into the hallway and collided almost immediately with Matt.
“God, Neil! What’s going on?” he asked, sounding alarmed, but I didn’t know where to start. I couldn’t even catch my breath long enough to talk. I put my hands on his shoulders and tried to force the air into my lungs.
“Matt, h-he…” I sputtered in agitation.
Meanwhile, my mother and sister had approached, trailed by Selene and Alyssa, and all of them were waiting to hear what I had to say.
“Neil, speak,” Matt said, sounding concerned. He probably thought it was bad news, but instead…
“He woke up, Matt! He’s awake! Logan’s awake!” I practically shouted the words with an excess of joy and the expression on his face shifted first from worried to shocked to delighted.
“What?” My mother burst into tears and ran to me, throwing her arms around me.
“He’s awake, Mom! He woke up!” I said, stroking her hair. I was so happy that everything else just fell away. I didn’t even care that she’d hugged me without my consent. Chloe hurled herself at Matt while Alyssa clasped Selene tightly as they both wept.
“I can’t believe it!” Matt grinned, passing both hands over his face in disbelief. I let out a sigh of relief and returned to Logan. I was almost afraid to go back into his room, afraid I might find that I’d only imagined the nightmare was over. Instead, I found his hazel eyes focused clearly on me.
My brother was waiting for me, just like he waited for me when we were children.
“Here I am.” I approached the bed and saw his hand resting palm up, toward me. He spread his fingers, and I understood the gesture immediately. I took his hand and smiled at him. He’d come back to me, and he was never going anywhere ever again.
“I love you,” I said and one solitary tear slid down his cheek.
If just then someone had asked me what happiness was, I would have to told them that happiness is a house with all the people you love inside. It’s the knowing looks we share with our partners in crime, the smiles of our loved ones, the warmth that comes from being near those who are dear to us. Even the strength to defend those people at the cost of one’s own life, if necessary. But, above all else: happiness is the luminous gaze of someone who fought through a nightmare to come back to you because…
He made it.
35
Selene
Logan spent two more weeks in the hospital. The doctors said they needed to monitor him and check in daily to avoid complications. Since his femur was fractured, he’d also have to wear a cast for at least a month.
Overall, though, things had gone well. It was a genuine miracle that he’d survived such a major accident, and despite the worries and fears that still shadowed us about this invisible, menacing stranger, the air in the house felt different. The tragic accident had brought the Anderson–Miller family together like never before. Something had changed inside me as well. I had realized that family was a precious resource, meant to be cherished. Family meant lending strength and support to one another. It meant facing challenges together and overcoming them. It meant being united in the face of everything and everyone.
We were all in the living room after finishing dinner. Matt and Chloe were playing a game of chess (the loser had to do dishes). I was perched on one of the armchairs, while Logan sat on the sofa wearing a blue tracksuit. He had his broken leg stretched out in front of him and two crutches lay to the left of his body.
“So, are you two a couple?” Mia asked, glancing between Logan and Alyssa.