Page 195 of Let the Game Begin
Nevertheless, I smiled at Luke and he got to his feet, rubbing the back of his head and looking around anxiously. I didn’t understand the sudden change in his demeanor, but I didn’t question him.
“You don’t seem to be like them,” I pointed out, looking up at him. Luke eyes locked on mine and he frowned.
“You mean like the Krew?” he asked.
“Exactly.” I nodded and wrapped my coat more tightly around myself again. Luke smiled when he noticed. I was shivering from the cold.
“And what makes you think that?” he continued, apparently intrigued by this avenue of discussion.
“I don’t know; it’s just a feeling.” A feeling that fluctuated because, sometimes, Luke took on a persona that made me think differently of him, while at other times he seemed harmless, nice to talk with.
“Wrong feeling,” he answered, a teasing look on his face. He continued to stand a little bit away from me. He seemed uneasy. He kept glancing around like he wanted to make sure no one saw him there with me.
Was he ashamed to be seen with me?
“Afraid Xavier’s going to laugh at your for hanging out with me?”
“Do I look stupid to you? I don’t give a shit what Xavier says.” He ran a hand through his blond hair and propped his foot up on the bench, a short distance away from me. “But I don’t want any problems with Neil…”
I nearly laughed in his face.
Was he serious?
“I think he’s a little busy with something else at the moment. Believe me, Neil doesn’t care about me.” A hysterical bubble of laughter rose up from the back of my throat. There was no need to worry about Neil. He couldn’t care less if someone approached me, even—
“Remember how, after you kissed me in the pool house, he threw youout?” Luke said, crossing his arms over his chest. He’d adopted a brazen posture that contrasted with his oh-so-angelic face. I hoped I didn’t blush at the mention of our kiss, that childish, almost involuntary gesture I’d made.
“So? Do you think he’ll get mad at you if he sees us here just talking?” It was insane to think about. I would have slapped Mr. Disaster myself if he pulled something like that after what had just happened with Jennifer. He had absolutely no right.
Luke shook his head and smiled like the answer was obvious to him.
“He’s shared every other girl with us, except for you,” he pointed out, scrutinizing me like he might figure out why.
“He just tried to share me with Jennifer tonight.” Nausea clenched my stomach at the very idea. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted a long detox from Neil and the feelings he generated in me.
“He wanted you to share him with Jennifer, which is very different.” He looked me up and down, pausing on my legs. I cleared my throat and looked over his shoulder at small group passing by. The girls called out flirtatious greetings to Luke while the boys avoided his eyes, intimidated. I realized then that he produced that same sense of awe I felt from people when I was in a public place with Neil. It seemed that everyone knew who Luke was and they feared him.
“Apparently you’re just as infamous as your friends,” I said, nodding at the passing group. Luke smiled mysteriously and looked back at my face.
“I never said I was any different,” he answered, shrugging.
I got up from the bench, wandering around a little and trying to ignore the cold air against my skin. I felt horribly vulnerable, a broken heart close to another boy who could probably cause me to make similar mistakes.
But what I really wanted was to prove that I wasn’t like Neil, that I couldn’t just use other people for personal gain.
“I don’t want to have beef with Neil, but…” Luke spoke again, and I turned my full attention on him. He took a few steps toward me, towering over me, and looked down into my face like he was tracing every line. “I was clear with him that, if you ever wanted anything from me, I wouldn’t hold off,” he finished with a provocative smile.
Did he really mean that?
I blushed violently, and I was sure that this time my cheeks were actually blazing. I wasn’t completely unmoved by someone like Luke, and perhaps if I had been a different sort of person, I could have just taken the opportunity that had been presented to me. I’d liked our kiss. It wasn’t as devastating as Neil’s, but it wasn’t bad either, far from it.
“I’m not… I’m not that kind of person. I couldn’t—”
“I understand the kind of person you are; you don’t have to explain yourself. I think the person who doesn’t understand is Neil.” He looked deeply into my eyes for a moment before continuing. “Now, I think I really should go back into the house. Are you here with anyone?” he asked considerately and I nodded.
I needed to find Alyssa and get out of there right away.
After telling Luke goodbye, I hunted Alyssa down, determined to get back home. I told her everything, sparing no details, and she didn’t hesitate to call Neil an asshole, a pervert, and a dickhead. I was glad she could because, unfortunately, there seemed to be something inside me that prevented me from hating him the way I would have liked.
