Page 202 of Let the Game Begin
But I immediately wrapped my fingers around the handle of my suitcase and kept walking, brushing right past him.
“You told me everything you needed to tell me last night. I have to go now, Neil,” I said as I hurried away from him, knowing that this would be the hardest part.
I would never see him again. I would never get to drink him in the moment I woke up with his eyes still all sleepy and his lips swollen, ready for kissing.
I’d no longer be able to watch him bite into a protein bar or smell his shower gel or feel his constant presence.
I would never argue with him about his lovers and then allow him to make me forget it all with his kisses.
I would no longer get the chance to share spaces with him or share anything at all. Not friends or family…certainly not a life.
“Wait.” Neil reached out and took me by the wrist.
I turned to face him and his mouth dropped open slightly, as though he were about to tell me something. Instead, he closed his lips and chewed anxiously on the inside of his cheek. We stared fixedly at one another for a few seconds, which felt somehow infinite. If I could have stopped time right then, I would have. I would have stayed there just like that, rooted to the ground in front of him, getting lost in his golden eyes.
I felt like a fairy sitting paralyzed in the palm of Neil’s hand, unable to take flight, and I realized then that he had been my Neverland, too.
“I just wanted to say goodbye…” He moved closer to me until he was surrounding me with his scent, and I closed my eyes to soak it in. Deep inmy heart, I was hoping he’d say something to convince me to stay. But that wasn’t what happened.
Instead, Neil just pressed his warm lips to my forehead and gave me a sweet, chaste kiss before he pulled away with the faintest smile. He shot a glance at the Tinkerbell sweater I wore, just like the night we first met, and his eyes gleamed with an intense but indecipherable light.
“Safe travels, Tinkerbell.” His voice reached down to touch the recesses of my soul for the last time. Then, as my taxi pulled up, he stepped back away from me.
The driver got out, opened the trunk, and stowed my bag inside. I moved around to the passenger door and took a quick look back at Mr. Disaster while he continued to stare at me in total silence.
“Take care of yourself, Neil,” was all I said as I got into the car. I watched him through the window one last time and met his eyes, which continued to bore into mine as he said nothing. As he didn’t ask me to stay.
“We good to go?” the driver asked, tossing a glance at me in the rearview mirror. I looked at Neil again and felt my heart pounding against my chest. A warm feeling spread across every inch of my skin. My eyes were stinging, but I refused to give in and cry.
Not again.
“Yes,” I confirmed in a small voice.
The driver started the car and we pulled away slowly. I turned back to Mr. Disaster and watched him until he had faded from view.
My lips began to tremble powerfully, and as I rested my head against the window, I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer.
What would become of us?
Maybe there wasn’t anusanymore. Or maybe there never had been in the first place.
It felt to me as though I could feel his fingers stroking me, his lips kissing me, his hands traversing my entire body.
I still vividly sensed his presence, like an enchanted dream that was, at the same time, the sharpest torture.
Unfortunately, there was no cure for memories. There was no cure for the past.
There was no freedom from it, either.
I needed to stop thinking about him.
I sighed as I reached into my pocket for my phone so I could text my mother that I’d be home in a few hours. But then my fingers encountered something that was, from the size and shape of it, definitely not my cell phone. I wrinkled my forehead in confusion as I pulled out the object that had somehow ended up in my pocket and studied it closely. It was a transparent glass cube with a pearl suspended inside it.
“What is this?” I murmured, watching the way it glittered as it reflected the sunlight.
This thing didn’t belong to me, and I couldn’t figure out how it had gotten into my coat pocket, unless…
“I just wanted to say goodbye…”
