Page 50 of Let the Game Begin
The weekend came too soon.
I only had an hour before Jared arrived, and I was incapable of thinking of anything meaningful to say to him. All I did was think about what to say or how to act, but none of my mental preparations were making me feel at all ready for our meeting.
I was in my bedroom, surrounded by a silence that only increased my agitation. I examined myself in the mirror, and in the blue of my eyes, I saw all the disillusionment I was still feeling about my irrational actions.
Myunforgivableactions.
I looked down at the black dress I was wearing, very elegant but simple. It was mid-length, exposing my now-healed knee. Naturally, I was reminded of that moment in the kitchen when Neil had tended to me and spoken so mysteriously.
I heaved a broken sigh. Neil had wormed his way into my body and my brain. He had become a full-blown obsession, and the more evasive and elusive he was, the more I yearned to pin him down and uncover exactly why he was so different from all the other guys his age.
He had a man’s experience—the sense of disillusionment that came from enduring too much in this life and the inner coldness of someone whowas no longer capable of entrusting himself to anyone else. I felt like I had all the pieces of the puzzle spread out before me, but I still just couldn’t see how they fit together.
I scraped my hair into a high ponytail, leaving a couple of rebellious strands to frame my face.
I went down to the garden to take some time to myself. After all, solitude was my only consistent friend. I sat down on the wooden bench and admired the garden around me.
A tree nearby cast a shadow that gave me shelter from the sun while a crisp breeze tickled my skin.
“Hey, sis,” Logan said, coming over to sit next to me.
“How many times do I have to tell you that I hate it when you call me that?” I mock-grumbled and he grinned. I turned to look at him, and his cheerful face fell when he saw my eyes.
“You’re sad. Why?” he asked with concern.
“When you’re very sensitive, you get sad a lot.” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and sighed.
“But aren’t you happy to see Jared again?”
It was a legitimate question, but the intense shame I felt over my feelings for Neil made me so generally irrational that it canceled everything else out. “We were only together for three months. I do care about him, but I think I made a mistake attaching myself to him just because we’re so much alike. I thought that would be enough for a relationship.” I confessed it all with the familiar ease that I always felt with Logan.
“You’re young. It’s completely normal to make the wrong call in these situations at our age.” I looked at him, really examining his facial features. His face was more delicate than Neil’s but just as refined and free from imperfections. Beauty was definitely one of the Miller family’s strong suits.
“But our mistakes shouldn’t hurt other people…” I said, more to myself than to him. Logan smiled at me with understanding.
“Sure, but it’s also true that mistakes are how we learn,” he said, holding up his index finger in a mocking, smart-ass fashion. Then he gave my shoulder a comforting pat. I immediately felt better, and my lips curved slightlyupward. Often, people just need someone to really listen to them, someone to be present, someone they can count on.
“Wait, wait, wait… Is that a smile I see?” He booped me on the nose, and I grinned widely. I was feeling much lighter, despite my imminent encounter with Jared.
“You know what I think?” Logan added. I gave him a curious look and he continued, “I think Jared isn’t the right person for you. We get tangled up with people for lots of reasons, and love isn’t always one of them. Maybe you made some mistakes, but you can definitely take something away from them. Sometimes the most incredible things are hiding in the chaos.”
Just then, a gentle gust of wind moved through my hair, rustling the leaves of the trees. “Incredible things…” I echoed thoughtfully.
“Yeah…” He stood up and extended his hand to help me up.
We walked back into the house and spent the next hour talking about nothing in particular. We were still sitting on the sofa in the living room when we heard the doorbell ring.
“Anna, can you get the door please?” Mia shouted. She appeared a few moments later, leaning over the railing on the upstairs landing with a pen dangling from one hand.
Anna obeyed, and when she opened the door, Jared was standing there with a box of chocolates in his hands.
My heart stuttered, and my nerves increased tenfold.
He paused in the doorway in all his glory. His jade-green eyes seemed brighter than normal, and his blond hair had product in it. Seeing him, Mia came down the stairs, and Logan stood up to greet the new guest. Matt, however, wore a confused expression as he emerged from the kitchen.
I remained motionless on the sofa, fixed in place as though I’d just seen a ghost.
“Please, make yourself comfortable,” said Anna as she helped Jared remove his black coat and draped it over her arm.
