Page 44 of Unnatural
No one else on earth would have helped him. Only her.
She’d followed him. She’d recognized him.Rememberedhim.
Only becauseshewas there, at that schoolyard, was he safe.
There was something…astonishing about that. He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. But Sam wasn’t good atwrapping his mind around things anyway. He hadn’t been taught to be athinker.He’d been taught to be a doer. He’d been taught to follow orders.
He shut the water off, stepping from the shower and using the towel hung on the bar to dry himself off.
“Are you okay?”
His gaze went to the door, and his lips tugged again. She was attentive, he’d give her that.Because it’s her job.
No, it’s not. She did this willingly.
She’d put herself at great risk. He wasn’t worth it, so he’d leave as soon as he was able to travel and allow her to go back to her life.Away from the mess she unwittingly fell into because she followed you.
Out of habit, Sam had parked on a side street unlikely to have cameras and tried his best to travel down the streets in a way that would avoid most public surveillance on the way to the location of Amon’s job, Deercroft Academy. But for obvious reasons, he hadn’t been able to be as mindful on the way back. He had to hope, though, that if they’d been caught on camera, it was only briefly, and there was no way for the authorities to identify either of them.
Do you trust her? Do you trust her not to turn you in?He paused, thinking about that for a moment, because it was an important consideration. If the police captured him, he’d go to prison. Not only because of the shooting he’d run from but because he’d done terrible things…yes, at the direction of other people, but that wouldn’t matter to the authorities. They’d convict him. They’d study him, which he could not allow. That would be even worse than being killed by the program. Because “studying him” meant hospitals. It meant doctors and labs. Maybe surgeries against his wishes. Sam would rather die.
He’d enjoyed his first taste of freedom working on the apple farm, and he wasn’t sure that he’d found happiness…exactly…but whatever it was, it was as close as he’d ever known. As far as Autumn though…yes, yes, he did trust her. Not only because she’d also been involved in helping him escape the scene of a crime but because he’d lived in her mind almost half of his life. He’d breathed her thoughts. He’d used the words from her journal to ease his suffering. He’d pondered the gentleness of her heart perhaps even more than she had. She was wrapped around every beautiful thing he’d ever noticed in the world. And for a man who’d been trained to commit ugly, gruesome acts and who’d seen so much depravity, that was magic to him.Shewas magic. And if it turned out he was wrong about trusting her, then he wouldn’t need to kill himself, nor would the program. That realization would do it for him.
He wrapped the towel around his hips. It was too small, and he tugged it as best he could, tucking the small available portion of corner into the waist before exiting the bathroom.
She was standing a few feet from the door, and she rushed forward, obviously meaning to help him. But he raised his arm to let her know he was capable of walking back to the bed. However, the movement caused the corner of his towel to come untucked, the too-small piece of terry cloth falling to the floor.
Autumn came up short, and for several beats, they stared at each other across the very small distance before her eyes drifted downward, her gaze halted between his legs before Sam had even thought to cover himself.
He froze, watching her watch him, her eyes widening, then blinking, but still held on the one part of him that had not undergone experimentation, well, not that he couldremember anyway. It seemed to work as it should, though no woman had ever confirmed that for him.
Sam wasn’t embarrassed by nudity, his or anyone else’s. In a way, he felt detached from his skin and his various parts. His body belonged to the program, to doctors. To others. He’d never been consulted about what happened to him or what did not. But Autumn’s eyes on his naked skin, his nakedsex, caused an odd prickle of…something to begin at the base of his spine. She seemed…unable to look away. But her expression was not filled with disgust or fear or the other emotions he might expect. Autumn was obviously interested, and from what he could tell, it was of the good variety.
He felt a loosening, something he hadn’t even known he held tight until that very moment. He’d kept his eyes averted for so much of his life, not wanting to be seen. Knowing that he was ugly. He’d noticed women look atothermen the way Autumn was looking at him. He’d never imagined a woman would look at him that way, much less the one woman on earth he held above all others. And for the very first time in his life, he felt like a whole man.
Tell me I’m human.
She’d confirmed his question with her words.
But now she was confirming it with her eyes. And it meant infinitely more, because he didn’t think this woman’s eyes could lie.
Nor her nipples, pebbling under the fabric of her shirt.
He wanted to stand there forever, watching her watch him. Feeling the thing he was feeling. It must have a very specific name, a word that perfectly described it, but he didn’t know what that might be.
Wonder?
Joy?
Rebirth?
She jolted as if she’d just realized she was staring, let out a small laugh, which sounded like it was filled with bubbles, and rushed forward, grabbing the towel puddled at his feet. When she stood, her head grazed his manhood, and he sucked in a small breath that ended in an even smaller groan. She sprang away, almost tripping and falling, dropping the towel again. He watched her, amused and…interested. Her touch…it had been unexpected and arousing, yet not…bad.
“Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Her cheeks had turned bright pink, and she brought her hands to them, looking positively mortified.
Sam laughed.
Autumn froze, staring, then blinked, her eyes widening before she too laughed and then clapped a hand over her mouth. “Oh my God,” she said again. She scooped the towel up off the floor and then tossed it to him and turned away, her laugh dwindling to a groan.
