Page 59 of Temptations of a Wallflower
The carriage jounced in a rut. Jeremy stirred but did not wake. He murmured, “Sarah,” then fell back into a doze.
Her heart seized. God—she must fill his mind the way he inhabited hers. She’d thought of nothing and no one but him, especially in the days preceding their marriage. Would it always be thus—her mind utterly occupied with the sound of his voice, the texture of his skin, the bright blue of his eyes? Or would it fade into something less fiery, more comfortable? She did anddid not wish for that. Domesticity seemed anathema to passion.
No way to know until she discovered it for herself. Yet she suspected it would never be calm and ordinary between them. How could it? Not when she burned so hotly for him. Seeing him waiting for her by the altar yesterday . . . so terribly handsome in black, his hair a burnished gold, his eyes shining with undisguised affection . . . the fire that already blazed within her flamed even higher. This man washers.As she was his.
Lady Sarah Cleland.A hybrid of her old and new selves. She took consolation in this as her chest ached with the loss of her parents. The marriage band on her finger proved she was a different woman now. One with a home of her own. Responsibilities. A husband. They’d recited their vows, pledged themselves to each other until the end of time.
But one part of her remained unchanged: the Lady of Dubious Quality. She witnessed and watched the whole day, her keen eye and observational powers always present. She was with Sarah now, eager for the next stage of the journey, accompanying Sarah as they transitioned to married life. But the Lady of Dubious Quality hadn’t signed her name on the parish register. Did that mean she was unwed? And would she change because Sarah had?
It all felt both dreamlike and sharply real. This was to be her now.
Her body thirsted for experience.
The mysteries of sex loomed. The Lady had been a good tutor and spinner of dreams. She had guidedSarah down unknown paths, paths they had explored together. In her thoughts. She’d learn it all soon.
But what if Jeremy got suspicious because of her understanding? Her writing still stood between them. With Jeremy and her under one roof, she would have to be very careful to keep it hidden. He was far more attentive and aware than her parents were, and a considerable amount of subterfuge would be needed to keep her authorship secret. A shadow passed over her heart. They were barely a day into their marriage, and she was already planning to deceive him. A tenuous balance was needed. Nervousness and excitement battled for supremacy.
How much experience did Jeremy possess? Was he a virgin, too? Doubtful. Most men didn’t make it to their twenty-eighth year without making love at least once. His cousin, Lord Marwood, had probably taken legions of women to bed by the time he was Jeremy’s age. But then, few men were as proficient or dedicated to the pursuit of physical pleasure as Jeremy’s cousin. Certainly a vicar wouldn’t have the time to bed so many females.
What if . . . one of his pretty parishioners had come to seek him after Sunday services, and the two of them made love atop his desk while he still wore his clerical robes?
Damn Sarah’s imagination.
A wave of acidic heat shot through her. She didn’t want to imagine him in someone else’s arms, flesh to flesh. Yet at the same time, it would be better for both her and Jeremy if he wasn’t completely inexperienced.
The carriage bounced again, and this time, Jeremywoke. He stretched and then opened his eyes. As he beheld her, a sleepy little smile played about his lips, and she wanted to kiss it. But she merely smiled in return.
“Did you have a good rest, husband?” she asked, testing the feel and texture of the word.
“Tolerable, wife,” he answered, and grinned. “Made all the better by waking and seeing you.” His gaze sharpened, grew hungry. “Come here.” He gestured her forward.
“Where? The carriage is small, and there’s no place for me to sit.”
He patted his thighs. “A comfortable chair is yours right here.”
She crossed the narrow space between them to sit on his lap, twining her arms around his neck. He held her close. One of his hands undid the ribbons of her bonnet, and he set the hat aside. He cupped the back of her head as his other hand clasped her waist.
“The seating accommodations in this carriage are most amenable,” she murmured.
“It gets better,” he said, his gaze on her mouth.
They came together in a lush kiss. Her breasts crushed against his hard chest, and she felt the strain of his muscles beneath the fabric of his coat. His tongue caressed hers. They did not waste time on gentle preliminaries. This was a kiss of claiming. It promised,Soon we will have everything.
“I like this kiss better than the one we had after the wedding ceremony,” she sighed when they finally broke apart.
“Couldn’t do this in front of the Vicar Chumley.”
“Surely he’s seen such things before,” she noted.
“But not from me.” He commanded gently, “Kiss me again.”
She readily obeyed. As their lips met, his hand skimmed up from her waist, coming to rest just beneath the curve of her sensitive, aching breast. She leaned closer, wanting his touch. With that small bit of permission, he brought his hand up, cupping the fullness of her breast with his large hand. She moaned softly into his mouth as his fingers stroked over the fabric covering her. His fingertips strayed over her nipple, teasing it even beneath her clothing to a ready point that demanded more. Dampness gathered between her legs. She’d written about these feelings before, but experiencing them for herself was revelatory, as though she discovered she could suddenly perform magic.
Reaching for her, his elbow banged into the side of the carriage wall. He groaned, and rested his forehead against hers. The carriage slowed.
“Drive on,” Jeremy called to the driver.
The vehicle picked up speed.
