“No,” Alex snapped over his shoulder. “I—”
His words died as he looked at Cassandra. Scanning the room, he noticed a secluded corner, partially shielded by an enormous Chinese vase holding palm fronds. The middle of a gaming hell was no place to talk to her. No place toseeher.
Before Alex could think, he took her uncovered hand in his own ungloved hand. The feel of her skin against him was a hot brand upon his heart, both a balm and an agony.
Wordlessly, she followed him to the corner, where Ellingsworth and Langdon couldn’t cast their curious gazes in his direction. Even in a gaming hell, where guests engaged in numerous vices, people gossiped.
Her familiar fragrance of rose and warm vanilla drove thorns of heat through his chest. Though her expression remained unreadable, the long line of her throat revealed the quick pulsation beneath her flesh. His fingers itched to stroke along that silken column, as he’d done before. Or press his lips to the spot at the juncture of her jaw and neck, to taste her again.
Her eyes widened slightly, as if she could read his thoughts.
Very slowly, as if defusing an incendiary device, she untangled her fingers from his. But she didn’t put more distance between them.
“Alex,” she whispered.
“Where did you go?” he demanded lowly.
She didn’t speak. Yet her gaze never left his.
“I woke up,” he continued, “and you had disappeared.”
Her gaze slipped to the side, as if she had trouble looking him in the eye. Was she ashamed?
He pressed. “No one at the hotel knew when you’d left or where you had gone.”
Her lips tightened regretfully. “I know.” She glanced back at him, and a wealth of misery shone in her eyes. “I’m...” She drew a breath. “I’m so sorry.”
Her apology was only a trickle of water upon the hot wound of the past. The words were too meager for the immensity of his feelings, broad and vast as a jungle, and just as dangerous.
He couldn’t stop the words that tore from him, revisiting that dark time. “And then no word. Not a letter, not a note. Nothing.” Anger and fear pulsed beneath his words. And relief, to find her again after so long, after he’d believed the worst.
“I looked everywhere for you,” he went on. “Every inn between Cheltenham and London. My solicitors scoured the country for word of you.”
“England is a vast place,” she whispered. Her face was pale, her eyes wide.
“It always seemed too small to me,” he gritted. “Until I tried to find you. It was as though you were made of smoke. You vanished utterly.”
She looked down at her clasped hands, her knuckles white as she gripped her fingers tightly.
He gazed at the crown of her head, shining softly gold like something deeply precious. “I thought—” His voice thickened. “I thought you’d been hurt. Worse. That you’d...” He couldn’t even say the word, though he had proof at last that his greatest fear had been unfounded.
“Oh, God, no,” she breathed. She glanced up, and then her eyes briefly closed. “I had hoped that you’d forget me. Go on with your life as if we’d never met.”
“How can you say that?” He realized his voice had grown louder. Alex carefully lowered his tone so that they wouldn’t be heard above the noise of the gaming hell. “It’s not my habit to seduce impoverished widows at spa towns.” Sharp, cutting feelings threatened to overwhelm him once more—in Cheltenham, he’d reached toward her like a plant finding sunlight. And when she’d gone, he could only think that again, he was unworthy of love. The sun disappeared.
“Nor is it my custom to become a duke’s lover,” she said, barely audible.
The wordsseduceandloverreverberated between them. Her pupils widened, darkening her eyes. Her gaze darted up and down his body. A flush stole into her cheeks. She blushed like that when she came.
He couldn’t think of that now. Not here. Not when there were too many unanswered questions and raw emotion nearly engulfed him.
“Please,” she breathed. “Forgive me. I acted out of self-protection.” She pressed her hand against his thundering chest. “The money you gave me—so honorably—it was enough for me to go home. To contest my wicked cousin.” Her brow furrowed and her mouth turned down. “The villain. The clever, shrewd villain. He kept my creditors hounding me. I had to leave for home in the dead of night so they wouldn’t pursue me. I had to vanish utterly to keep myself from the Marshalsea.”
The thought of Cassandra imprisoned there shot frost through him. The infamous debtors’ prison was a miserable place, full of desperation and sorrow. Alex had once been there to visit an old school friend, who had refused to allow him to pay off outstanding debts. The Marshalsea was a warren of sad, cramped rooms and hopeless people spending interminable hours in squalor.
“Damn it,” he said gruffly. He barely cared that he’d sworn in her presence.
She smiled sadly. “I know.” Her smile faded. “I reached home, also in the dead of night and found my ancestral home barred to me. No place to go, no friend to give me shelter. I applied to the local magistrate.” She shook her head mournfully. “Too late. My cousin had taken control of my entire fortune. I hadn’t two groats in my pocket. I had nothing, and nowhere to go.”