Page 19 of Counting on a Countess
He grimaced. “I’ve never proposed before, so my skill is negligible. My apologies.”
She shook her head as she accepted the death of her final hope for affection. “Romance never figured into the picture for me, anyway.”
“Again, I’m sorry I have to be so businesslike,” he said with regret. “Time is slipping away, faster and faster. I can vow that, if you say yes, I will make your life very comfortable.”
She didn’t care about that—all that mattered was buying Chei Owr and keeping Newcombe from the deadly grip of poverty.
But she would also be married. She’d become Lord Blakemere’s property after years of almost-complete liberty.
Yet for all that the country considered her to be his possession, the same could not be said about him. He would not belong to her. She would give up her independence, and he’d keep his freedom, which hardly seemed fair. A husband could sue for divorce on the grounds of infidelity, but she wouldn’t have the same recourse unless he was physically cruel to her or a bigamist.
“Will you be faithful?” she asked.
He was silent for a long while. “I cannot guarantee my fidelity,” he finally said. Grimly, as though delivering a verdict.
Her sinking regret was expected, but that didn’t make it less painful. “I see.”
“Once you have given me an heir,” he added quickly, “you can take a lover. I won’t be jealous of you, and you won’t be jealous of me.”
She knew how city marriages worked. Even so, she confessed, “I didn’t think it mattered that we might be monogamous, but hearing it spelled out so plainly is”—she searched for the right word—“strange.”
He looked rueful, but not repentant. “Understandable. But I must say again that Lord Somerby was a very wealthy man. His wealth will be mine. You will have any material comfort you desire, so long as your spending is within reason.”
With no dowry and all her attention given to smuggling, she’d never expected to marry. She’d resigned herself to living as her uncle’s dependent at Chei Owr while she continued to run the smuggling operation.
She’d also reconciled herself to spinsterhood—and all its attendant loneliness. Yet to know that her future husband wouldn’t be faithful felt like a disappointment.
Never knew I’d given two figs about romance.And yet she did, seeing now that it would truly be denied to her.
You’ll have Chei Owr. That’s something.
“Consider us as business partners,” he explained, “rather than a romantic couple.”
Could she sign her name to an agreement with the man who would be her husband, the man who would have control over her person and her future children?
Did she have a choice in saying no?
“If we wed,” he continued persuasively, “we’ll get along well. No illusions, no disenchantment.”
She could get up. Walk away.
Since her parents’ deaths, she’d had no love in her life. She and Nessa were friends, but that was all. None of the village men had ever vied for her hand. Oh, there had been kisses here and there, but nothing further. They couldn’t—she was a baron’s daughter and they were farmers and fishermen.
Lord Blakemere’s candid proposal was the best she was going to get. She doubted he would be around enough for her to grow attached—and his absence was necessary if she was to continue smuggling.
A fierce part of her didn’t want to share her man with anyone. Perhaps if the earl had been less fascinating, less alluring, she could say with confidence that it wouldn’t hurt if he went to other women’s beds.
What if it does hurt? What if I come to feel something for him?
Don’tcare for him. Protect yourself.That was the best she could do.Perhaps, once she’d given him that heir, she could find love with someone who wasn’t her husband.How very sophisticated.
“Your silence alarms me,” he said, breaking her thoughts.
“No cause for alarm,” she replied. She drew in a breath. “My answer is yes.”
His smile was sudden and bright. The worry left his eyes, and pleasure with her and the world radiated from him. “This is... this is excellent.” His brow furrowed. “Are you content with a special license? We can be married in three days.”
“So soon,” she murmured, but she had understood it would be fast.
