Page 80 of Would I Lie to the Duke
What have I done?
Chapter 23
“I can’t speak for you,” Lady Haighe said as she and Jess waited in the foyer while their luggage was loaded onto the carriage. “But I will be exceedingly happy to return to London today. Mind, His Grace’s house is lovely, and portrait-perfect Wiltshire farms are delightful—but there’s not enough to gossip about in the country.”
Jess attempted a smile. Weariness made her bones heavy as iron—she’d been unable to sleep—and she felt ready to break apart at the slightest touch. “I’m certain you’ve missed nothing of importance while we’ve been away.”
“Let us hope so.” Lady Haighe sniffed. “It issodull out of the city.”
Jess couldn’t agree. In the two nights that she had been away from London, her life had careened between exalted heights and profound lows. She pressed a hand to her throbbing head. Lack of sleep always gave her a headache, and now was no exception.
“Still waiting?”
Nerves alight, Jess turned at the sound of Noel’s voice. He descended the front stairs, and in his eleganttraveling clothing, with his freshly shaven face and artfully tousled hair, he was every inch the polished, perfect duke. One would never know from looking at him that only eight hours ago he’d been begging her for sexual release, or that he’d pleasured her with his mouth until she’d thought she would perish from ecstasy.
This morning, she learned that she could be both anguished and aroused at the same time.
She tried not to flinch from his searching gaze as he reached the foyer. What could she tell him? She wished from the very depths of her soul that she could say,I have feelings for you, too. I want to staywith you.Because she did. She wished so much it was a steady agony beneath her skin.
He deserved to hear those words spoken to him. But he couldn’t—not from her. Not when she didn’t deserve his adoration or his company.
“Mr. Vale said it would be only a few more minutes until we were ready to leave.” Somehow, she managed to speak levelly. “He offered for everyone to finish their breakfasts at leisure. Lady Haighe seemed especially eager to get our journey underway, so I opted to keep her company as she waited out here.” Also, for Jess, the prospect of eating was entirely impossible.
Noel offered Lady Haighe an easy smile. But Jess saw the tiny lines bracketing his mouth, and, upon closer inspection, there were shadows beneath his eyes. She’d done that—cost him his peace because of her deception.
He said, “Eager to return to London’s bustle, Lady Haighe?”
“There’s a decided lack of scandal in the country.” The older woman harrumphed.
Jess’s gaze automatically found Noel’s, remembering their words to each other. She’d never forget the sight of him stroking himself at her command.
“Although,” Lady Haighe added slyly, “things were emphatically more interesting for the younger set. Isn’t that so, Lady Whitefield?”
Jess cleared her throat. “I wouldn’t know.”
“If she doesn’t know,” Lady Haighe said pointedly to Noel, “then you didn’t do your job properly.”
“I’m an excellent host,” he answered.
“Beg pardon, Your Grace,” Gregory said as he approached. “Before you return to London, I hoped we could review a few more estate matters in the study.”
“I’ll be there momentarily.” Noel bowed. “Excuse me, my ladies.”
Once they were alone, Lady Haighe studied Jess. “Are you all right, my gel?”
“Why shouldn’t I be?”
“Because,” Lady Haighe said, stroking a hand down Jess’s cheek, “you look on the verge of noisy tears. Which seems out of character. Did he hurt you?” Her expression hardened. “If he did, I don’t care if he’s a ruddy duke. I’ll plant my knee in his bollocks.”
“That’s very kind of you.” Jess rubbed her knuckles against her eyes, forcing back the very tears that Lady Haighe had noticed. “There’s no blame for Noel—I mean, His Grace. It’s all my doing.” She could say no more, but the urge to confess everything pushed at her. “He’s a good man. A wonderful man.”
“And you care for him.”
“I do.” This was wonderful and exhilarating and so painful that she couldn’t seem to catch her breath.
“Have you told him?” Lady Haighe asked.
Jess shook her head. “I can’t.”
