Page 84 of A Rogue's Rules for Seduction
“Wecan be sisters and friends.” Celeste smiled at Tabitha, and then at Willa. “And sisters tell each other everything. Believe me when I say that I know what it means to keep yourself carefully hidden because you’re afraid what people might think of you if they knew who you truly were.”
Willa felt her gaze fly to Celeste’s, astonished by the other woman’s understanding. Yet, it madesense that her poet brother would love a woman of deep insight.
“You do?” Willa asked.
“Dom had the privilege of being a man, and not being judged for his actions,” Celeste said with a wry look. “I wasn’t so fortunate. But Kieran showed me that there’s so much more to gain when you take that leap. Granted, we must be selective when pickingwhowe’re revealing ourselves to. Still, Tabitha and I, we’re not precisely the models of what the world considers ideal womanhood. If there’s anyone you can trust, it’s us.”
“‘Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult tasks,’Isaac Watts,” Tabitha quoted. “It may be challenging, but the rewards... they’re boundless.”
Willa took a deep breath. She had transformed over the course of her time here, and if her brothers loved these women, she needed no other proof that she could love them, too.
“The idea of being with Dom fills me with joy,” she finally admitted. “But how can I take that risk again? How can I leave myself open to the hurt he could cause me?”
Celeste stroked a hand down Willa’s hair, a comforting, sisterly gesture. “I can’t pretend that therearen’trisks when loving someone. And Domdidhurt you.”
“He might again,” Willa said, forlorn.
“The greatest injuries are the ones inflicted bythose closest to us,” Tabitha noted. “Yet the alternative is to keep everything and everyone at a distance, and while we might be protected, we’ll never know the warmth of another’s touch. We’ll never experience how our souls vibrate with pleasure when someone sees beyond what the world believes of us. It’s as if...” The scholarly, erudite woman searched for the right words. “It’s as if we’ve finally come home.”
“Home.” Willa whispered the word. For all her life, it had been a fraught one, because the home provided by her parents had been one of peril and unhappiness. Yethomeresonated, a place where she could be safe and loved.
She hadn’t felt that sense of home with Dom when they’d been engaged. Neither of them had been where they needed to be in order to have that feeling of rightness for each other. But over the course of the past week, especially when they’d been at the cabin, she’d felt complete and whole, perhaps for the first time in her life. Dom had revealed himself to her, and she to him, and in that expansive, trusting openness, she’d found true happiness.
She went to the window and opened the curtains. Afternoon light streamed in, having broken through the clouds, and from her room she had a view of one of the gardens. Mr. Longbridge walked hand in hand with Baron Hunsdon, and the host laughed at something the baron said.
“It isn’t perfect,” Tabitha added, “when you give yourself fully to someone. There’s still hurt and misunderstanding, and the words don’t always come out exactly the way you want them to. But even when there are obstacles to overcome, everything is better because they’re with you, and, in the end, they’re there when you need them.”
“Hewasn’tthere,” Willa had to object. She turned away from Mr. Longbridge and the baron’s happiness to face the other women. “Heabandonedme.”
“You may think I’m obligated to defend my brother,” Celeste said. “Yet I can say, objectively, that the man who I just saw leave your bedchamber would sooner tear his heart from his chest than be apart from you. You might not see the way he looks at you when you don’t notice, but I do, and I’ve never in my life seen anyone have so much devotion to another being. Except,” she added with a warm curve of her lips, “the way Kieran looks at me.”
“Or how Finn gazes at me,” Tabitha noted, her eyes soft.
“Three more fortunate beings, you aren’t going to find,” Celeste said. She placed her hands on Willa’s shoulders. “Do you love him?”
Willa pressed her lips together. She’d admitted as much to herself, but the understanding was so new, so frightening. Summoning her courage, she confessed, “I do.”
Happiness filled Celeste’s eyes. “And he loves you.”
“Is itenough?” Willa demanded.
Tabitha approached. “I’ve studied texts and treatises and essays and nearly every other form of written expression. Thousands of years of humans trying to decipher the mystery of love. If it’s real. If it lasts. If it’s the singular most important thing anyone can ever experience, or if it’s to be avoided at all costs.”
“Tell me the answer,” Willa pled.
“There’s a reason why people keep writing about love: because no one knows the answer. I had to learn that in the most difficult way possible.”
“I see.” A thick knot of disappointment lodged in Willa’s throat. She was no closer to figuring out what to do about her and Dom—every direction only offered more questions.
“However,” Tabitha went on, her expression sincere, “personal experience has given me my own answer. And that is that when you find someone who fills your days with joy and your nights with pleasure, when you are more yourself with them than you are with anyone else, when you would doanythingto ensure their happiness... that’s a rarity, and it’s worth holding on to, as tightly as you can.”
Celeste gave Willa’s shoulders a squeeze. “You’re battling your fear, and that’s not an easy thing to do, but, Willa, you’re also one of the boldest, most audacious people I’ve ever known. If there’ssomething you want,you go after it. I always admired that about you.”
Willa tipped up her chin. “I suppose I’ve been fearless in my pursuits, and now, when I need my courage the most, I should remember that.”
“It took me so long to learn that I should hunt down my own joy,” Celeste said. “I wish for you to do the same.”
Willa stood on the cusp of something monumental. The most important decision she’d ever make in her entire existence. She could be safe on her own, cut off from the world and her heart, or she could join her life with Dom’s. He was tempestuous and elemental, edged and dark, and capable of the most breathtaking tenderness. When he looked at her, hesawher. The vulnerable girl and the audacious lioness—and he wanted them both.
