Page 144 of The Sea Witch
She held herself stiffly, her arms at her sides. She couldn’t let herself press against him, rest her cheek on his chest, grab on and grip him tightly.
He cupped her jaw and looked into her eyes. “I care for you, Alys. And you feel something for me, too, whether or not you say the words. We’re joined now, in our dreams, and in our hearts. That will always guide me back to you.”
“Please,” she choked. “Please go now.”
He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then another one, softly, on her lips. “We will see each other again.”
Then he was gone, climbing over the railing and down to the waiting cutter. She stood at the gunwale to watch him.
He seated himself at the tiller, and untied the boat from its rope anchoring it to theSea Witch. When this was done, he gazed up at her, far above him. The blue of his eyes was the same blue as the water, and now even that would be ruined for her, because she would never again sail upon the sea and not think of him.
Stasia shouted, “Witches, we summon the winds.”
“Aye, aye,” came the answering cry.
Alys couldn’t join the magical members of her company as they called upon the winds to fill the cutter’s sail. Instead, her hands knotted into fists and her throat burned when the sail billowed and the boat pushed away from theSea Witch. The cutter grew smaller and smaller. Even as Ben steered the boat, he looked back at her.
She still felt him within her, the strands of him braided with her own heart. His worry. His determination. Yet they stretched and grew muted, distance dampening the peaks and depths of his emotions inside her.
The cutter turned into a dot, and the glow of Ben’s presence inside her became a tiny flicker of light in the midst of darkness. It disappeared over the horizon, and finally Alys turned away.
Before they could sail to the next step in the search for the fail-safe, it was essential that the ship reprovision. Stores of water and food were getting dangerously low, and the stars only knew when there would be any allowance of time to replenish them.
It also gave Alys something to think about besides the fact that Ben was no longer aboard theSea Witch. She’d avoided herquarters all day, his presence everywhere in her cabin. He was either standing at the table where they would review charts and discuss their course, or else he lay in the hammock, asleep but wary, or he stretched across her berth.
She was in her quarters, briefly, when Jane came in and began taking down the hammock.
“Leave that.” Alys didn’t like the snapping tone of her voice, but it had come out before she could stop herself.
Jane blinked at her. “If that’s what you wish, Cap’n.”
“It is,” came Alys’s clipped response. She stalked from her quarters, fleeing from Jane’s confused look.
Ben was gone, though no one knew for how long. There was no need to keep the hammock if he wasn’t around to use it.
But hemightneed it. He could be back within a few days. And then where would he sleep? There was always the possibility that they’d share her berth, yet it was narrow and hardly held two people, especially someone of his size. They’d keep the hammock for a while, and maybe she might have her berth widened so that both of them could fit into it comfortably...
Alys marched up to the quarterdeck and took the helm from Hua. Better to give herself something to think about besides these fucking circles that had her spinning and spinning.
Had he reached theJupiteryet? Was he safe? Did he think of her at all or, now that he was back aboard his naval ship, did he consider his time aboard theSea Witcha temporary madness, best soon put behind him? Though she was aware of him, she could no longer sense him as acutely as she once had.
“Fuck,” she snarled to herself.
She let the wind in her face and the motion of the ship upon the waves do their best to chase away her endlessly cycling thoughts. And yet there was nothing in the whole of the Caribbean that could possibly wash away the heartache gripping her.
With relief, she put in at the island of Saint Bernadine. There was a decent-sized town there, sympathetic to buccaneers anda safe place for a pirate ship to reprovision without worrying about any naval ships or governments to make life difficult. She docked theSea Witch, and immediately members of the crew hustled down the gangplank to assist Cecily in securing food and drink for the ship. Everyone else was given two hours of much-needed shore leave. A skeleton crew remained behind, with the promise that the next time they docked, they’d be given several days of sanctioned leave.
Alys stood at the gunwale. Stay on board, or go ashore? On one hand, she didn’t have the stomach for the revelry Saint Bernadine offered. On the other, theSea Witchwas haunted everywhere by Ben’s presence.
She stalked down the gangplank, Stasia at her side.
Saint Bernadine boasted a low mountain in the center of the island, with the town crouched at the base of the peak, like an imp at the foot of a demon. The town bustled as goods were loaded on and off ships, and taverns did brisk business, filled with pirates eager for a little pleasure after hard weeks at sea, and tapsters eager to take their ample coin. The air was heavy with salt and sweat, music and laughter and shouts clanging together.
Alys’s head throbbed, and her chest ached even more.
“Go on,” she said to Stasia, waving her hand toward an open-air tavern. “Find a warm and willing soul to share a bed with for a few hours. Nobody with any sense will refuse such an offer.”
Stasia eyed the people in the tavern, many of whom eyed her back with interest. She cut a sleek and dangerous figure, dressed in a long dark coat, her eyes lined with kohl, and Eris perched on her shoulder. Yet she gave everyone a dismissive shrug.
